March 24th, 2015
There is still a lot of people who have a hard time when it comes to this topic. Is it fair that male and female babysitters are not treated equally? Are there any differences in the way they work?
I'm interested in hearing experiences, opinions and suggestions any of you have.
March 5th, 2015
What does it mean when a parent says that their child is sensitive? I hear this reference as a positive thing. I just kind of assume that a "sensitive" person is one who is understanding of others' needs, possibly more than the typical child their age. But I think parents are using this as a euphemism for whiny kids. Because the kind of "sensitive" that I'm seeing is the kind that will have a meltdown any time they don't get their way.
Yesterday I was supervising some kids who were playing rock-paper-scissors to pass the time. One kid suddenly starts bawling at the top of his lungs. He's 8. So I thought, oh crap, he got hurt. Nope. When I asked what happened, he said, "I NEVER win!!"
I said, "Seriously? You're going to cry about losing at rock-paper-scissors?!"
This is just one of a series of instances in a class of normal, mainstreamed kids. I really think parents are raising their boys to be totally ridiculous babies. And the staff totally pander to this. I don't mean they give in to the kids' demands, but they do try to soothe and comfort them, instead of telling them that their reaction is inappropriate. I think it's absurd for a third grader to be having a toddler-like reaction to losing a low-stakes little game.
I had a similar situation last year in a carpool situation, and after the second incident (the first time I was totally caught off-guard), I pulled over and said we would wait until he was ready to act his age, because I don't tolerate that behavior in my car. (He said he'd tell his mom on me, so I got my phone, and said, "Okay, let's call her and see how she wants to handle this." He suddenly pulled himself together instead.)
When my three-year-old starts to have a tantrum, I take away the activity and put her straight to bed. No debate. Sometimes I'll give a warning, but only one, then it's naptime. I don't even attempt to resolve the issue when they're tired and irrational. Why would this still be happening in third grade?? Maybe my memory is bad, but if any of us acted like that by that age, my parents would be asking what the heck was wrong with us!
February 10th, 2015
My close friend is a single mother with kids ages 3 and 5. She works full time as a nurse and has been feeling overwhelmed with work and her kids recently. I offered to come over to give some moral support, knowing that the kids tend to be overly aggressive and I don't have any kids of my own. Anyways, while I was there, the youngest son was continuously hitting his older sister despite my friend telling him to stop. After several warnings, she pulls him into the bathroom. Then I heard a few loud slapping sounds along with the her son wailing. What should I do? Is this okay!?
January 23rd, 2015
there are about 82 different divisions of Christians which are called denominations. the catholics ar the largest droup of Christians. there are about 9 divisions of islam, 8 divisions of Hebrew, 18 divisions of hindi not including the seik. do not overlook buddist and confushon, various orthodox churches such as greek, Russian, Turkish, Cypriot, lessor known religions such as wiccan and pagan which has 100's of breakdowns.
if all of these religions were to express themselves to the public in public places, the world would be total chaos. for this reason, it is established by "common law" that religions are informally restricted to their operating theatre and missions.
this does not include schools. there is excellent reason for separation of church and state that goes far beyond the common understanding. could you picture 400 clergy of different religions all preaching in a hallway at school. please believe that the overall public good is best served by not having religion in the schools. and this is before we even get to the concept of separation of church and state. I am sure all agree we cant have government sponsoring one religion over others in the schools.
be advised however that some of these religions operate their own schools which serve the community well, and I have no problem with them receiving some tax money for that purpose. it also relieves a given percentage of burden from public school systems.it also seems borne out that said schools usually provide education which is superior to the public school system. I have no problem at all with that.
December 31st, 2014
I have been lurking around for a while but this is my first post.
Many may know that the Entertainment Software Rating Board is an unregulated entity that rates video games based off of their content. However, many do not know that they could give games an Adults Only (AO) rating, yet rarely do for consoles. Furthermore, AO rated games are considered suitable for ages eighteen and older while Mature (M) rated games are suitable for ages seventeen and older. Why the one year gap?
Additionally, Microsoft, Nintendo, and Sony will pull the license of a game if its given an AO rating. To further keep AO rated games away from the consumer most retailers prohibit the sale of AO rated games.
As a parent I find it interesting that content that is given an AO rating instead of a M rating contains sexual content yet typically the same level of violence as the M rated game.
So with that in mind:
Who thinks the ESRB should reevaluate their rating system?
Who believes that retailers and console developers should allow AO rated games to be sold to adults so that future games that are considered violent do not get rated as M for the sake of sales?
And, since I believe parents know what is best for their children, who would by a game like Call of Duty for their child if it was rated as AO instead of M?
Hope everyone has a happy holidays
December 15th, 2014
I am new to the forum. I thought I would join because I have been having a hard time keeping my cool with my 3-year-old and 5-year-old lately. Usually things will progress as follows:
Either child: I would like yogurt now.
Me: No yogurt now, since we're eating dinner in an hour.
Either child: I want yogurt NOW!
Me: Not now, maybe later.
This goes on with the only difference being that their voices rise exponentially, and I will try to be patient until I will finally raise my voice at them. At that point, they will cry hysterically, and I will feel awful. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. As the situation escalates, I keep thinking that I should have let them have the stupid yogurt to begin with. But once I say no, I try not to relent, since I know that that will encourage future tantrums.
Any tips for handling these kinds of situations? Are you pretty permissive to begin with, so that the kids generally get what they want and only rarely do you say no? Do you have any strategies that you use for not getting angry at the end? I want to be seen as a strong role model, and I think these interactions are undermining that. I am not naturally a terribly patient person, so I can use any advice you have to offer.
November 26th, 2014
My wife and I just joined this forum today and we are desiring to participate and to learn from this community as we raise our two boys, age 8 and 11.
The issue that sparked our finding this community is what happened this past saturday. Our son, 11, has always been competitive throughout his entire life. Competetive at everything. And he has participated in sports through the years - flag football, soccer, track and field, and now swimming. We have always allowed him to pick the sport and he has bounced from sport to sport. And some of that has been dictated by where we live and what is available, including that sports are for the entire school year. This past saturday was his first swim meet. He was very nervous and was anxious for the meet before he went.
One important detail that impacts our son and our family is that we live in Spain, so he is participating in this sport in a second language.
His race was the 75m freestyle and in his age group he is one of the youngest based upon his bday. Here in Spain, you only swim one event and they dictate what this is for each age group. Don't ask me why!
When our son dove in the water to start the race he swam the first 25m of the pool and as he got to the wall, HE GAVE UP. At this point we was in last place and he said later that he knew it. He feigned injury, and left the water. He later admitted that he did not injure his ankle. But said that he could not breath due to his nervousness. We believe him, but we also think it has to do with his fear of coming in last place because of past decisions.
He has cried wolf before, during track season he would feign injury and give up when he saw that he would not win. He worked through that, but the cycle seems to be repeating during swim season.
Any thoughts or suggestions?
Any patterns that we as parents need to be aware of that we could be doing which create this in our child?
I should also say, right now he wants to quit which is understandable because of the shame factor. His next practice is today and his coach will ask him how his ankle is doing, so he knows that he has to be honest and come clean.
Thanks for your thoughts!
October 22nd, 2014
All kids seem to know that money is something you get from the cash machine. If you lose or break something, you just go buy another, and if you need more money you get it from the machine, right?
So I've decided it's time to start giving my 5-year-old some spending money. She already has a piggy bank, and occasionally we take it to the bank to put into her account. Now, I've also given her two jars, labelled 'Spend' and 'Donate'. The 'Spend' money, she can take with her when we go out, and she can buy things for herself. The 'Donate' money, she can choose which charity to give it to. The piggy bank will be for saving.
(I gave her $3, today, and after swapping jars for a while, she finally decided to put $2.75 into the 'Donate' jar, and 25 cents into the 'spend' jar. She said "Some people don't have enough money to buy food, and I already have lots of toys, so it's good to give most of it away!")
Anyway, I'd like some advice about how to help her learn about money:
- How much spending money do you think is appropriate for a 5 year old?
- Should I let her have free-rein with the 'spend' jar, or should I stop her if she wants to spend it on overpriced junk?
- Of course, I want her to be generous, but not just give her money away willy-nilly, and there needs to be some balance. Any suggestions on this?
Any ideas on how to help her to start learning good financial skills would be helpful, please. I'm new to the whole 'allowance' business.
January 20th, 2013
Every day it seems like we hear of another story that makes us shake our heads.
Now I hear about a 5-year-old kindergartener who was suspended from school for telling a friend that she was going to shoot her . . . with a pink toy gun that blows soapy bubbles. The context of the discussion is still somewhat unclear, but the little girl was suspended for ten days (later dropped to two days) and labeled as a “terrorist threat.” Yep, a five-year-old is now a threat to the greater good of society.
January 20th, 2013
Bullying. It’s a real concern and no one can deny that. I’m sure most of us even have a story or two about a bully from our own childhood, but are we overusing the word? It seems like everywhere I look, people are talking about how a child is being bullied, but when you look at the actual incident, it’s more like a one-time thing where a child is being . . . well, a child. The two-year-old who bites in preschool, the three-year-old who’s still pushing and shoving to get their way, the four-year-old who doesn’t want to play with another kid and says so. Our these behaviors acceptable? Of course not, but they are normal behaviors in young children.