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I think I have come to terms with this arrangement, (ok I am getting there). What do I do when she comes home in a week hoping to do her laundry and wondering what's for dinner? Any advice would be greatly appriciated. Thank you!
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Tell her it costs $2 a load to do laundry, and that you'll be glad to have her come for dinner, then set a date for her to come over. If she's no longer living in your house, she no longer has the right to expect laundry and meal privileges.
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Is she going to ask to come home? I don't know if we should let her.
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Only if she agrees to live by the rules of the house. That means she can't continue the behavior that prompted you to issue your ultimatum in the first place.