Witnessing a precious brotherly love
By: Xero
October 27th, 2011
6:25 pm
As the mother of a four-year-old and an infant, I am just now coming to understand the true relationship between an older sibling and a younger sibling. My boys are both very fascinated with each other, and I can tell that they are already developing a brotherly bond. I feel so lucky, as a parent, to be able to stand by and watch this relationship bloom! Of course, given their age differences, they are both on very different ends of the sibling spectrum.
For instance, my four-month-old can’t do much more than watch his older brother in awe. Everything he does is always the most interesting thing going on by far. Just by crashing his toy monster trucks together or aiding Spiderman in an epic jump off of the window sill, my older son becomes my younger son’s biggest hero and most fascinating form of entertainment. I get the feeling he appreciates his older brother when he shows up holding a pacifier or a toy when the tears start to flow. Sometimes, just for no reason at all, he will lay next to him on the floor and talk to him. I imagine he also enjoys the attention when my oldest points out how “cute” his tiny hands and feet are. Each time he gains his older brother’s attention, there is undoubtedly a toothless smile on his face.
My four-year-old now has a much better, living and breathing version of a baby doll. He enjoys trying to take off and put on his clothes, pushing him in the stroller, and buckling his car seat straps. He now has a special little person that belongs to him - everywhere we go, you are sure to hear “This is my brother!” He now has another person to talk to, which means he will set up his matchbox cars and roll them all around his bouncy seat, all the while describing how the cop car is chasing the orange car to tell him that he’s going too fast. The baby is a very good listener! Most of all, he also gets to feel important! Whenever his baby brother needs something, he can be a big helper. He very much enjoys helping Mommy with little things such as bringing a diaper or a toy, or pulling a wipe from the wipes container.
One of the main reasons my husband and I decided to have another child was because we wanted our son to have a friend, a companion to grow up and experience the world with. I’m so happy we made this decision, because even though I thought it would take some time for them to become important to each other, I believe that they are already close and are only becoming closer everyday. Don’t get me wrong, I know there is plenty of fighting and sibling rivalry ahead of me. It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, but I am so happy to see that there are so many benefits to parenting brothers.
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14 comments on "Witnessing a precious brotherly love"
October 27, 2011 at 6:40 pm
It's a beautiful thing, isn't it!
I can tell just by the pictures you post that they are closer than ever. Of course you are right and there will be bumps along the way but it won't matter because...well....they're brothers.
October 27, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Thanks Fo7! It really is amazing watching their relationship change the more they grow to understand each other. It's the cutest thing ever, I get all choked up just seeing them together sometimes. Sometimes YDS will just look at ODS and start laughing. It always gets me!
I can't imagine what it must be like to watch all of your kids growing up as siblings! It must be so rewarding.
October 27, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Damn where is the like button?
October 28, 2011 at 6:06 am
I'm glad you like it M2M!! -hug-
October 28, 2011 at 8:38 am
That is great. My boys are about the same difference in age, so I relate so much to a lot of what you said. I never had a brother, so I love and marvel at the relationship I see developing between them. It's definitely a proud parent thing!
thanks for sharing
October 28, 2011 at 6:18 pm
IADad - I think that the age difference is special. ODS is just old enough to really understand what's going on and who YDS is to him. I marvel at the relationship I see between my boys as well. I have six younger siblings, but I was also adopted at an older age. Therefor, I know what it's like to have siblings, but I don't know what it's like growing up with them from the beginning. It really seems like a powerful thing and I love it.
October 30, 2011 at 8:27 pm
I'm in. So cool to see how Cole look's after his sis.
I just love that stuff
October 30, 2011 at 9:37 pm
I love it too! I miss you bssage!!
October 31, 2011 at 3:06 pm
My brother and I are incredibly close. It wasn't always like this, however. We have 8 years of difference, and we grew up fighting a lot. As the older brother, I always wanted to be on my own and mind my own business and my brother was doing all he could to be with me, follow me around, etc.
He would also complain and lie about me to get me punished...
Then I moved out around 20 years old, and suddenly we became the best of friends. Today we both purchased a condo in the same building so that I can help him with his parenting with my little nephew (3 years old now) and have developed a network of support that really is incredible. I wish every siblings to develop such a close bond!
From a parenting point of view, sibling rivalry is a difficult challenge and some tips can make a big difference. I recommend this amazing book: "Sibling Rivalry", from Faber & Mazlish. A masterpiece about how to help siblings develop into a supportive and loving relationship, rather than a competitive or distant one. A must read.
Nicolas, Family life educator
October 31, 2011 at 6:07 pm
Thank you, Parentastic! I will most definitely be reading that book.
I am also very close with one of my sisters (my youngest sister, out of the three) and we have four, almost five years between us. I definitely remember a time when things were rocky between us due mostly to the age difference, but now we are so close. I seriously value our relationship; she is like my best friend. I hope my boys can be that close one day!
October 31, 2011 at 7:28 pm
I am also very close with one of my sisters (my youngest sister, out of the three) and we have four, almost five years between us. I definitely remember a time when things were rocky between us due mostly to the age difference, but now we are so close. I seriously value our relationship; she is like my best friend. I hope my boys can be that close one day!
October 31, 2011 at 8:12 pm
My grandsons are 13 and 15. I have watched them go through so many phases of relationship!
Just like anyone living in very close proximity over many years, their bond has had ups & downs. From very close & loving, to fighting, to envy, to imitation, I am sure you too will see it all over the years.
Allow me to just add one thing from personal experiences with my sister. If they come up in a loving household and ever have that genuine closeness exhibited in your photos, no matter what struggles come and go over the long haul the underlying bond remains and/or returns.
October 31, 2011 at 10:41 pm
I agree I think that siblings are so important! And Ive found that my kids emulate their older same sex siblings - dreading when my 12yo has boyfriends etc and my 6yos want to copy!
November 1, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Yes, exactly!!! My brother and I often reflect on this, we are like, "wow, we are so lucky!" and we both feel very sad when we notice how rare it is around us; most of the time, as adults, we have lost touch with our brothers and sisters. They remain family, but they rarely are best friends, too.
My grandsons are 13 and 15. I have watched them go through so many phases of relationship!
Just like anyone living in very close proximity over many years, their bond has had ups & downs. From very close & loving, to fighting, to envy, to imitation, I am sure you too will see it all over the years.
Allow me to just add one thing from personal experiences with my sister. If they come up in a loving household and ever have that genuine closeness exhibited in your photos, no matter what struggles come and go over the long haul the underlying bond remains and/or returns.
I agree I think that siblings are so important! And Ive found that my kids emulate their older same sex siblings - dreading when my 12yo has boyfriends etc and my 6yos want to copy!