We have 4 cats and a 2 year old. I *never* let my son pull their tails or hurt them in any way. We started very early with showing him how to pet nicely. If he was grabbing, I'd make a sudden "ah-ah" sound to startle him, would release his hand and show him how to be very gentle. We were very consistent with this. I saw too many friends who let their babies pound all over the animals (cats or dogs) That is just not right!
I have a friend who got a puppy and has a 10 month old. She is always complaining that her baby "pulls the puppy's tail and hits the puppy". I told her that they shouldn't be allowed in the same room, then, unless she is *right there* to stop it. The poor puppy! She has to protect that puppy while teaching her 10mo how to be gentle.
Since we started this with my son from the moment he was aware, he is *so* gentle with the cats now. He doesn't chase them, doesn't poke them, and in general is very good with them. My cats were also smart enough to steer clear of him if they wanted. My son will go up to them, say "Kitties... pet nice" and will gently stroke them. My cats will rub up against him for attention now. It is too cute.
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I would suggest, however, that if you do get a cat and plan on keeping it in the house, that you have it declawed (at least on the front feet).
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Please try to find other alternatives than this. Declawing is actually an amputation of bone. It can be extremely painful and can cause cats to have personality/litterbox changes. Cat Scratch Fever is not very common. I keep my cats' claws clipped and always supervise my son. He has been scratched a slight bit once, but it wasn't the cat's fault. He was mad and before I knew it, he hit the cat. The cat scratched him, and I used that as the natural consequence on why NOT to hit cats.
He learned!