SageMother

My heart goes out to you. It sounds like your daughter has emotional issues that may necessitate her being placed in some form of residential treatment.

I don't know what the logical consequences are with this sort of behavior where you live. In your shoes, I would not allow her to remain in the home with me and she would be living elsewhere on a permanent basis, even if it meant that was juvenile detention. My fear is not what she might do to harm herself, but what she might do that will harm you, since her boundaries are gone and she has no qualms about doing as she pleases while you are sleeping.

While you are waiting for different services you might start finding out what happens if she gets drunk or picked up by the police and she is not allowed to return home. If you find the alternatives preferrable to her being in the home with you, purely from a safety and mental health stand point for YOU, then you can be ready to refuse to let the police deliver her to your home.

I know it seems harsh, but there is no reason to allow her to continue this path of destruction in your presence. If she wishes to behave in this manner, then the logical consequences should be that she live in an environment that is a bit more punitive.