 Re: difficult private matter with our pre-teen | |
Jtee, I want to applaud you for handling this far better than I would have. If you were to ask anyone that knows me to describe me, the first thing they would say about me is how calm I am. It is probably my most described trait, yet I belive I would have gone off in your situation. It must have taken some amazing restraint. To tell you the truth, I instantly had a horrid shudder about walking in on my own daughter and got very angry with her and the nonexistent boy. The thought frightens me. It probably has to do with all the pregnant girls that are in my class. Every month I get another student in my class that is pregnant. It's really starting to unsettle me, especially the whole casual approach these kids are taking with sex. My students aren't afraid to tell me what medicines they are on for various std's etc.. They know so much and so little. Most still believe they could spot someone with aids. Sheesh...
Anyways, now that I've had time to think about this. It seems to me, that it is a little different with your daughter. I think that with her and her friend it is closer to playing doctor than anything else. They probably find the sensation curious, and don't really think of themselves as having sex, like an adult would. Obvoiusly they know what sex is, but I don't think they know what being sexual is. Is that making any sense? They probably didn't even think they were doing something wrong until they saw an adult reaction. I'm betting that she is really sincere when she says she won't do it again.
Still, I don't think anyone should pretend it never happened and birth control has to be addressed.
Finally, I'm no expert, so take my advice on this matter with a grain of salt and listen to the counselor. |