mamab

If she's in your house, and under your rules, then I don't think it's wrong to read her diary if she's doing something that you know is unsafe for her. She may be younger, but that doesn't mean she couldn't get pregnant, or a sexual disease. If she had said something even in passing about suicide, you'd look in that diary without hesitation to see if she were seriously thinking about it. If she were playing with a gun, you'd do what you had to do to keep her safe. Just because this is sex, it's no different. Ultimately you're responsible to her and FOR her, so I believe you're within your rights to look at the diary and the computer. You're doing what you have to as a parent to protect the child you love.

That all being said, I think it's great that you want to lessen the invasion into her privacy by only having your wife look. There may be things in there that would be embarrassing for her if you read them. I don't know the relationship you've had in the past, but I know it's bound to change with this situation. I hope you're always as thoughtful and concerned as you are now.

Also, I would suggest that if you and your wife haven't already, consider birth control of some type. If she's having sex at this age, it's not a leap to figure that she'll do it when she gets older.