Teen Drinking
By: teenager17
March 2nd, 2008
6:08 pm
What would do if you discovered incontrovertible proof that your, 17 or 18 year old son or daughter, a senior in high school, was drinking, and you had caught them a few times earlier as well? Just wondering what some parent's thoughts were on this issue.
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62 comments on "Teen Drinking"
March 2, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I'd want to know 1) drinking what; 2) how much; 3) how often; 4) under what circumstances; and 5) why.
March 2, 2008 at 8:35 pm
We let our daughter sample our alcoholic drinks on occasions, it makes alcohol less of a forbidden fruit.
March 3, 2008 at 3:56 am
Same as JTee, we allow sips from an early age. After 16, we allow half glasses of wine with dinner. After 18, we allow the same privileges as Mom and Dad, with the same restrictions...after the first drink, you don't get to leave the house till morning, and drinking is always in moderation. Also, no one under 21 who is not a family member is allowed to drink in our home.
March 3, 2008 at 4:29 am
Wow. I can not believe parents would do that. It doesn't have to be a forbidden fruit even without them drinking it. Have you guys never heard of alcoholism? Where do you think it begins? I would never set my kids up drinking.
March 3, 2008 at 4:35 am
To each their own.....it's how my parents taught me about responsible drinking, and it's working for us here.
March 3, 2008 at 4:52 am
Prohibition never works. In fact germany and France have legal drinking ages of 16 and statistically no greater likelihood of alcoholism mm. But I know that being allowed to drink sensibly with family did not stop the mid adolescent binge drinking phase. However because my parents were OK with the fact that I would occasionally have a few with my friends one thing I never ever did was drink drive or get in the car with someone who had. Because I knew they would come and get me if need be. I had friends with prohibitionist parents who took risks and got rides from drinkers to fool mum & dad. i would not want this for any kid.
March 3, 2008 at 5:14 am
I hope my children can come to me. I think drinking is just part of life and they are going to experiment with it but I would never allow my kids to drink at our home unless they were of age.
Not alot of people have to deal with alcoholism in their family as well so I'm extra cautious and will educate my children as much as possible without seeming like a matyr.
March 3, 2008 at 5:17 am
I hope my children can come to me. I think drinking is just part of life and they are going to experiment with it but I would never allow my kids to drink at our home unless they were of age.
Not alot of people have to deal with alcoholism in their family as well so I'm extra cautious and will educate my children as much as possible without seeming like a matyr.
March 3, 2008 at 5:56 am
Same as JTee, we allow sips from an early age. After 16, we allow half glasses of wine with dinner. After 18, we allow the same privileges as Mom and Dad, with the same restrictions...after the first drink, you don't get to leave the house till morning, and drinking is always in moderation. Also, no one under 21 who is not a family member is allowed to drink in our home.
March 3, 2008 at 6:36 am
I agree with MusicMom.
Just because you don't allow it doesn't mean it's a "forbidden fruit."
I mean...sex is a forbidden fruit, and I'm not going to allow it in my house either...same with drugs or cigarettes.
I think parents can reasonably exaplin why something is not allowed without making it sound so tempting.
March 3, 2008 at 6:40 am
I think parents can reasonably exaplin why something is not allowed without making it sound so tempting.
March 3, 2008 at 8:59 pm
For a holiday or celebration I might let my teen have a drink. We don't drink in my house aside from a holiday or celebration, so it seems fair. I just don't want to set the example that alcohol is okay...so I just don't do it. But I've seen parents do it both ways where alcohol was allowed and kids were fine and forbidden and kids were fine.
I think most teens go though an age where they want to drink. It would depend on what they were drinking, how much, and why. I'm less likely to flip about about a mike's hard lemonade than I am about vodka. I used to hide a bottle of fuzzy navel under my bed lol. Girlie drinks...told my mom about it years later.
March 4, 2008 at 3:47 am
I do agree with the person who said they would not allow other peoples kids to drink in their house. This is kind of asking for trouble.
But Foozer why ban sex either? Did your parents banning it stop you? Obviously it would depend on the age and maturity level of the teenager but I would sooner turn a discreet blind eye to a 16 or 17 year old having sex in their bedroom with someone they cared about than have them screwing in a park or car or lying about their whereabouts. All we can really do is arm older kids with information and be there for them as they make their own way in the world.
March 4, 2008 at 6:17 am
I do agree with the person who said they would not allow other peoples kids to drink in their house. This is kind of asking for trouble.
But Foozer why ban sex either? Did your parents banning it stop you? Obviously it would depend on the age and maturity level of the teenager but I would sooner turn a discreet blind eye to a 16 or 17 year old having sex in their bedroom with someone they cared about than have them screwing in a park or car or lying about their whereabouts. All we can really do is arm older kids with information and be there for them as they make their own way in the world.
I don't know how life will play out for my son at 17, since he's only 4 now...
But my plan is to be very active in his life, know where he is at all times, know his friends, and have him involved in enough activities that he's never bored and needing to fill up his life with hanging out and doing delinquent things.
I guess we'll see :-)
March 4, 2008 at 9:45 am
Sex wasn't a topic in my home. If I ever had a question I knew I could ask my mother. I was a virgin till 20..... yea me....lmao
March 4, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Getting back to the topic, does anyone think that at some point maybe junior or senior year, parents should basically let their kids make decisions about drinking and smoking, but letting them know they can call at any point for a ride if they need. Most kids are going to college in a year or two and everyone knows that stuff happens there, kids might as well learn how to control themselves now, with their parents around. Right??
March 4, 2008 at 7:03 pm
As a high school teacher I overhear many conversations by groups of students re: their party habits. It boggles my mind how many parties occur where parents are there to monitor and they let the kids (their own AND their kids friends) drink. Most kids report that their keys are confiscated when they get to these parties so they can't drink and drive home, but still....I couldn't imagine letting a bunch of 16 yr olds get drunk at my house b/c "I would rather have them here than somewhere else" (the reason I hear most often). They are kids and their bodies shouldn't be dealing w/ alcohol!!!
We recently ran a survey at our school and found that about 60% of our seniors drink enough to get drunk and 90% of them drink at their friend's houses.
I could see a sip or two just to see what it tastes like (I would also offer the most disgusting drink ever) at home, but I certainly would set the rule that it is not allowed socially until they are much older.
March 4, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Getting back to the topic, does anyone think that at some point maybe junior or senior year, parents should basically let their kids make decisions about drinking and smoking, but letting them know they can call at any point for a ride if they need. Most kids are going to college in a year or two and everyone knows that stuff happens there, kids might as well learn how to control themselves now, with their parents around. Right??
March 4, 2008 at 7:13 pm
I would say that's actually a pretty good sign that kids get their keys taken away at parties, and that there are parents there. Most places the parents are gone for the night, and sometimes kids will drive completely wasted to get home for the curfew. This is a direct result of the fact parents are not understanding of their kids.
March 4, 2008 at 7:45 pm
When it comes to drinking & driving, I'm pretty ruthless in the area of no tolerance, teenager or not. I'd be more than happy to see a teenager license revoked for 1+ year so they don't ruin their lives and the lives of others at some future date.