budnkota

I think there is something about the loss of a partner that really messes people up on a deep level. In a different way than it affects the children left behind.

I know when my mom died, within a month the man who had been her fiance had another woman living in the apartment he and my mom had shared. Within a couple months, they were married.
When they were just dating and I confronted him on the fact that this woman was wearing my mom's clothes, his twisted response was "how do you know ***** is not a gift from your mother?"
I don't think he was trying to be an idiot - I really think he needed to beleive that (his first wife had been my mom's best friend, and died of the same thing as my mom about 10 years earlier. He'd also lost his daughter in a drunk driving accident early in the relationship with my mom.). I just think that it was a way to handle his grief.

Perhaps when your father is doing things for colleen, he feels like he is somehow making up for the things he never did for your mother - or the things that he didn't do as rapidly as she would have liked.

And perhaps she worries about him for reasons you guys aren't aware of. Parents don't like to expose their children to too much of their emotions. Perhaps he's expressed things to her than give her cause for concern. Perhaps he needs somebody to talk with who ISN'T as emotionally invested as you kids... somebody with a little distance. Maybe he needs to talk about your mom, and can't bring himself to do it with you because he's all too aware of your loss and it's too painful....

I wonder if you dad is just in a state of emotional transition right now
Maybe for the time being, you and your brother could learn to do some minor repairs yourself. (based off your post, I am guessing you to be about 15?) It's really not that hard to do basic home maintenance and it's something everybody should know how to do anyway.

On the plus side, while it may be hard, try to appreciate that he's not forcing you to spend time with her. Perhaps what you seem to percieve as "trying to hide her" or something is actually attempting to preserve your and your brother's emotions. He's not trying to "replace" your mother or anything like that.