 Teens Who Don't Conform | |
My daughter had some serious bullying problems in sixth and seventh grades. Thankfully, eighth grade has gotten much better. Most of the problem is that she has her own ideas of how she wants to dress. (She plans to be a singer; you can tell it in her wardrobe.) She's also pretty independent. She won't do things just to fit in. She has a good sense of her values and stays true to them.
As I mentioned, things have improved. I think some of the kids have matured a bit. There's still bullying, but now she has some good friends...and several guys have crushes on her. One guy who used to make fun of her clothing now tells her that he thinks she has the best sense of fashion of anybody in the school.
A good friend of mine was listening to me talk about the bullying in seventh grade. She really likes my daughter a lot, and understood my pride in her ability to be herself despite the pressure to change. Yet she also said that she hopes her daughter (six years old or so) blends in when she gets older. She said she would worry if her daughter stood out from the crowd.
I understand the worries, but I would be more worried if she just tried to fit in. Life is about so much more than those years at school, and I think it's important to be true to yourself. I have no worries whatsoever about her getting into trouble because of peer pressure, either. I respect her a lot.
How about you guys? Would you rather have a child who blends in with the crowd or one who stands out? Note by standing out, I don't mean they stand out because of behavior problems, but just because of who they are.
I think a teen can be true to themselves while blending in (it all depends on the values of the kids at that school and what it would require to "blend") but if you could only pick one, which would it be?
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