Stephanie2377

I don't want to be more hard on her, but I think it is time for a reality check. Right now, she doesn't *have* to save because she has a very comfy place to stay and knows you will always be there. And, while that is nice that she feels so safe with you, it isn't spurring her on to learn how to live on her own.

I would suggest having a tough heart to heart. The two of you need to put her on a budget. She needs to account for every single penny. She needs to learn about how to handle money, and show that she is responsible.

Bottom line... there needs to be repurcussions. You will get to the point where you have to decide that she needs to get it together and move on. Your love for her might be also enabling her to not learn how to do it by herself.

I speak personally because of my husband's sister. She is now 36, unmarried, and still lives paycheck to paycheck. She has no savings, spends more than she makes and has lots of debt, and often finds herself living with friends. She lived at home for WAY too long until my ILs made her leave. She ended up homeless 2 months ago, so we let her stay here for 2 weeks. We helped her put together a budget, and encouraged her to learn how to handle money. She is now back in the world, and hasn't learned a thing other than when things are rough, she still has a warm place to stay. How did that help her? She doesn't need to learn how to handle money, because she will be rescued. We didn't help her at all, we just enabled her.

We all decided that tough love was the answer. The next time she spends all of her money, can't make rent and is kicked out.... she either has to go to a shelter or to a friend's house. It is time for her to hit rock bottom.

I don't want this to happen to your daughter, which is the only reason why I shared it! I hope you can help her to get it together before it gets to this point. HUGS... I know it isn't easy to help our kids become adults!