evilbrent

So it turns out that my relationship is going south with my wife. Nothing's really wrong - there's no infidelity or mistrust, we don't scream or hate each other. We have a pretty good existence, and we basically get along and work well together.

The problem is simply that her weight gain, depression, self esteem issues etc etc etc have evaporated what was left of our relationship. She has no more need for sex and frankly I'm just losing the ability to cope with the troughs of her depression.

I'm not being mean, this is just factual. I love her to bits, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I've got limits. I want to be happy, I want to be with someone who wants to be happy. She doesn't want to be happy. It's up to her.

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Anyway, what's it like being separated?

How does it happen?

Do kids adjust?

Can I still be a good dad, and make a choice to leave a woman who doesn't love me the way she used to?

Honestly, would I be a bad person to stay in this empty (but comfortable) life forever? It's a kind of trade-off right? My kids would end up having a less conflicted childhood, but I'd end up having a less exhilarating / satisfying life. Is that a reasonable choice? Is it ok to choose my children over myself?

I'm married, right. 10 years this coming January. How much crap am I obliged to wade through to honor my pledge? I mean, when we go married... I didn't really think about it that much, I was 19, but I guess that I at least had an expectation that things were going to go well - that we'd grow together, that she wouldn't just fade away on me like this. But am I supposed to sit her for another 10... 30! years?

But what's it like being separated?

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