My twins are about Oliver's age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissa  He hits me, slaps me, bites me <-- my daughter on occasion. Runs into the street <-- they both try. Throws food on the floor and laughs at me pick it up <-- my daughter and then her brother who is a copy cat. He screams when I'm not paying attention to him or when I don't give him something fast enough. He throws toys when he's mad <-- both of my kids when they are mad enough. I've tried giving him a modified time out (restraining him gently for 1 minute) and this is not working. This kid is literally driving me insane. I cannot keep up with him. He's everywhere, climbing up the walls literally. He now climbs up his highchair and cries until I let him down. And he climbs up the couch and sits on the window sill and bangs on the window. I have tried EVERYTHING and nothing gets through to this child. |
I don't think my kids have ADD and what you are describing is most likely typical toddler behavior. My solution is prevent as much as this as possible:
- We have toddler-proofed our downstairs as completely as possible. This includes turning our couch and living room chair around so they can't sit/climb on them. We also have the majority of our living room enclosed, so they can't run off.
- They are buckled into their high chairs.
- We warn them about throwing their sippy cups while in the high chairs, then we take the cups away temporarily when they do it again (and we leave them in their sight, so they remember what they missing - when they whine I say "I'm sorry, but you didn't keep your cup on your tray"). It's the same thing with finger food: a warning or two, then it is taken away and they are fed by spoon for a while, which they don't like.
- They have to hold our hands when walking anywhere but the park so they can't run into the street, into other people, etc. If they won't hold hands, they either are carried or buckled into their stroller.
- If a toy is thrown, the offender is reminded that toys aren't for throwing and that toy is put out of reach but in sight for quite a while. If this means multiple toys are put away, fine. If it turns into a contest, then we leave the room and go to another place with another activity.
- A big problem is the kids banging or scratching the walls with toys. We do the same as with throwing: A warning, then the toy is taken away. At one point, our entire mantle was covered with off-limit toys.
Two general things that help: I have...well, it sounds weird, but a warning sound. I say, "Ah ah ah..." when I see trouble coming such as my son about to bang the wall or window with a toy or my daughter getting ready to bite her brother. I've never used time outs or force, but for some reason they understand that this means they need to stop - now. It probably started because I wanted to avoid saying "no" all the time and used "ah ah ah" before I issued any warning. With consistency, it stuck. It now saves my sanity to be able to give them warning and have it work 90%+ of the time.
The second lifesaver was to not get in battles or games over power. If the game becomes throwing food like monkeys just watch me pick it up, the food is taken away and they are fed by spoon. If they don't want to be spoonfed, then the meal is over (they are in no danger of starving and seem to know not to fool around when they are really hungry). If the battle is throwing every toy because one of them is super cranky, we go upstairs to a new environment and less throw-able toys. Removing them from one place that is not working seems to help quite a bit.
I don't mean this as a long discussion about what a great mom I am. I completely understand being driven crazy and to the point of exhaustion. I just wanted to be as specific as possible about what often (but not always) works for us.
Hang in there, Lissa. They can't be crazy, untamed monkeys forever, right? Right?
