evilbrent

My brother in law is 25 and still living at home - pays no rent, no bills, no chores no nothing. He's a good guy though, so he doesn't break stuff or get into trouble, mostly just sits in his room and plays computer games.

I think the mistake his parents made is that they didn't make it clear that, once he reached age X (21?) he was his own financial entity. They didn't let him know this when he was 17.

My parents let me know. They said that they'd support me if I were ACTIVELY studying, but other than that I was free to do with my life what I chose.

Don't bail your kid out anymore. Ever. Maybe LEND him the money he needs to get out of his latest jam... but then the next time he just has to live with the consequences: he loses his car, he gets evicted. Whatever.

Life isn't all beer and skittles, but it you learn that you don't need to live responsibly to get by (because your parents will bail you out) then you're screwed.

I want my parents-in-law to start making him pay rent, but apparently he gets furiously angry every time they bring it up and they're afraid of confrontation. I just wish they'd brave it out, then say "Are you finished? Rent's due on the 23rd of every month. Here is your third of the bills, and your third of last month's grocery's is listed here. You can pay us for this any time in the next two weeks. After that we'll pay the bills and let you pay us back on the 23rd as well. Yes, I'm aware that the 22nd is your pay day."