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Originally Posted by budnkota  He is not really interested in what is going on with our son, but I feel an obligation to let him know, simply b/c it's best for R. I also want to make it accessible to a few other people (such as his parents), inviting them to keep up to date on what's going on in R's life. My reasoning for that? Because I want this to be the primary method of communication - and he can't continue to make many of the claims he does with regard to R and visitation if select others can clearly see that his stories are not accurate.
I also know that he feeds Amy a whole lot of BS about our communication. I heard the same stories myself once, with regard to his ex-wife. It's going to be hard for him to keep those claims up if she can log in herself and see what is said.
Another plus - if I make headings like health, school, etc, it will say how many people have viewed it. If I post that he went to the docs and nobody has read it, that demonstrates a lack of interest on his part
So if I put it in some kind of private forum, I am in no way contacting him - just putting the info in an accessible place. |
Maybe you don't want a comment like this and are just looking for technical info. If so, just ignore what follows.
You say that you want private forum because 1) it's best for your son that his dad have a way to follow his life, 2) it will let others such as your son's paternal grandparents to stay updated, 3) other, such as the grandparents and Amy, will read your posts and believe you, not him, and 4) his not logging in will show a lack of interest. All of this seems like you might want to step back and reconsider.
Would his parents and Amy believe you over him simply because they read your posts on the net? If they were so willing to believe you, why haven't they believed any of the (I am assuming) sworn documents that are part of your case? Or anything you have said in person? I don't see how putting it on the net will give you more credibility with regard to people who know you in person and - for whatever reason, logical or not - distrust what you are saying. And I think regardless of the medium (online, court document, whatever), his parents and his GF would be unlikely at this point to believe your version of events over his.
I think a similar thing applies with regard to him not logging in. I think it would reasonable for a court or person to come to a conclusion other than that he is disinterested. It may be that he believes his viewing it will violate the spirit of the restraining order. Or it may be that relations between the two of you are so contentious that he doesn't want anything to do with your forum or sees ignoring it as a way to hurt you.
As for doing what is best for your son: I think it is wonderful that you want to keep the paternal side of his family informed. But perhaps not until things between you and your son's father have cooled down significantly. In the meantime, you could keep a journal or scrapbook, with the idea that one day it will be possible for your son's father and his family to enjoy and realize what they missed and the costs of this conflict. It seems like the best thing for your son is for his parents to find a way to have a civil relationship after all this is finished. I hope that happens for all three of you, but this idea seems like it could turn into another point of contention between the two of you and another way for you to be hurt by him.