mmynedshlp

I can recommend you to an awesome book that will cover all the things you you just mentioned.
It gives you ideas and teaches you how to come up with some on your own so they learn to take the blame and that its not mommys fault.
I not only bought the book I took the class and it has done wonders with my family.
( guess what it works with adults too, i am using it on my husband)
The book is Parenting with love and logic. The class is the same thing. Most schools are asking teachers to take it now.
Really I am not trying to advertise but when my S-daughter was that age OH MY she was awful and this class helped us kick it in the rump so we didnt form bad habits.

She brought home her grades and I was like " ooh thats to bad you forgot, I will love you even if you have to repeat your grade or do summer school"
We did trial runs to the grocery store ( i did not plan to buy anything).
I explained what I wanted from her while we were in the store. If she broke it I dropped everything grabbed my purse and we went to the car and went home.
Driving home if she cried and screamed i would pull over and we would not o anywhere until she was done and buckeled again.
Now she is old enough she gets out of the car and walks and i will slowly follow behind her till she has released her steam.

If you give me the problem that bugs you the most we can all come up with some things to make it a consequence of his own actions and mostily its all about how YOU word it to make the child think about it. ( without rubbing in there face or they only look at how you mean you are and not what they did wrong)