alticedad

Hi- I'm "new" here. I've been lurking for a long time but I finally made myself an account because I really need some advice!

Background: I'm a young dad, I had my beautiful girl at age 16, I don't regret it at all and I love her to pieces. Her mother is not in the picture. She ran off when my daughter was 3 and we have not seen her since so it's just been me and S for as long as she can remember. She is a very smart girl- she has been salutatorian of her class since the 9th grade. She is sweet and caring and I am extremely proud of her. I don't know how well it translates over the Internet but I really do love her more than she will ever know.

The problem is that I realize that I have never been quite a father figure to her as a friend. I've always tried to be the "cool dad" and now it's all coming to bite me in the ass.

She doesn't actually do anything "bad" like smoke or drink or party, she is very mature, but she has a major problem with sassing and backtalking me and it is absolutely driving me insane. It's like I try to treat her like an adult and she treats me like one of her classmates.

So the big thing is that a few nights ago, we had a huge argument and she ended up telling me to "f*ck off." I was so angry with her that I momentarily lost it and slapped her in the face. I've never hit her before in my life. It's just that all those things that she has been saying to me these past few months just built up and came out right at that moment. Immediately I started apologizing to her. She started to cry but then she got up and walked away from me, not even saying a word.

I'm only a few years older than her, I totally understand how frustrating it is with parents, but now I don't know what to do. We had a chat after the night I hit her so I thought we were getting better but she is still acting the same way towards me.

One time, she said "At least I didn't get someone knocked up at age 16" and I NEVER want to hear that again. I know I made mistakes in the past, but how do I correct my daughter's behavior without making her feel like she is being treated like a child?