coloradoparent

I remember the first time I spanked my daughter and the guilt I felt afterwards.

I think that as long as the spanking served its purpose and was done without anger or intent to injure...then you did what needed to be done and your daughter will probably respect you more as a result. I don't think children should "fear" their parents, but they should certainly respect them. Hopefully, your daughter learned her lesson.

By the way, my wife and I use a bedtime chart for our daughter that has worked incredibly well. She gets "strikes" each time she calls out after bedtime and after the third one, she loses a few privileges on the following day (no playing with friends, no treats, and earlier bedtime the next night). If she gets NO strikes for the night, then she gets extra privileges on the folowing day. If she gets one or two strikes then she gets no restrictions, but also no extra privileges. She is allowed to use the bathroom without asking as long as she goes straight back to bed afterwards. You could maybe try something like this too.