I hope this is the correct forum to post this. It's a question for myself, but concerning my parent, and since I'm a young adult, I figured hey why not!
I was wondering if anyone had some advice for me. When my bio mom got pregnant with me, my bio dad ran off. Or at least, that's all my mom really told me. She never had a whole story for me. Just that she got together with this guy, she got pregnant even though she was on birth control, and he didn't want to deal with it so he ran off. She even told me that shortly after, he got married and had two other kids. That kind of made me feel like, why them but not me? But oh well to that. Continuing on, she said she tried to send him pictures, but he sent them all back without opening them. She said when I was about 6 months old, he wanted to see me, but she told him no it was too late. I have never heard his voice, never met him, never even seen a picture of him. I'm 21yrs old now and I have a little boy of my own. Now that I know what being a parent is like... I kind of wonder what my father thought. I never attempted to contact him, not once. I never even asked if I could. I don't know why. I guess I just accepted that he was nonexistant to me. It's hard to tell.
A long time ago, I looked for him on the internet, because I know his name and round abouts where he lives. I found his phone number. And even though it was what I was looking for, I haven't used it. I have it in my phone but I haven't done any more than look at it. I just wonder if he would want anything to do with me? Does he ever wonder about me? Would he want to know that he's a grandfather? Would I only be bothering him if I called him? What would I even say if I called him? Oh hi, this is your long lost daughter....lol. Seriously. Just wondering what you've been up to for the past 21 years... and all that.
Every time I think about it I get all scared and I get this super strong feeling in my gut that freaks me out. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me until I pick my phone up and think about it, and I feel like I'm going to throw up.
Why do I feel like this? Why can't I just be an adult about it and check it out? What should I do? Should I even bother with it? What would I say? Sorry I'm getting all personal and dramatic on you guys, I'm just wondering if anyone would have anything helpful to say. Thanks...
