FooserX

I think it's fair of you guys to sit down with your son, and tell him that it's appropriate of them to notify the wedding guests if there will not be a reconciliation.

As far as asking for the money back - it just happened last week, so I would side with your wife. Give it a little time. Maybe it was just a fight that got out of control? Either way, it's just money...and I think if you were to demand it back so soon, it would be tasteless on your part. If a month goes by, and he's still keeping it, then yes...ask for it back. :-)