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Originally Posted by Xero  Yeah, it was such a horrible situation. It was before Eli was born though, and we went through a loooot. It was like a year and a half ago, it's all over now. We are actually an awesome couple, once we both did a little growing up and a lot of reality-checking. We had our flaws to work out, it was a weird situation, but a lot of people now would say they were jealous of our connection. So it's okay. |
That sounds awful Xero, and I'm glad it's working out for you. My (cynical, jaded) advice - it takes a certain kind of person to cheat on their partner, even when you're a mixed up teen. You're still young. You should have an exit strategy in mind as you go through life's big steps - buying cars, houses, getting careers, more kids etc etc...
one of my best friends has got himself into a situation... sorry, correction, he's put his WIFE into a situation... by being the kind of husband you wouldn't want. On the surface he's great, generous, smart, reasonably well off... not very deep down he's got problems that lead to him lying and gambling and being terrible with money and having "internet romances" (ie, he got caught having *gasp* cybersex and writing "I love you" to some random stranger)...
anyway - my point is that my friend's wife is in this _situation_ now - at age 31, with a 14 month old kid, unimaginable debt, a husband she can't trust... and 1/3 of her problem is that she didn't sort out these trust issues 5 or even 10 years ago. Another 1/3 of her problem is that she let HIM try to fake his way out of their money problems, that she had a baby as a way to bring them closer, that she refused to take responsibility. (Obviously the biggest 1/3 is that my friend ended up being the sort of person you wouldn't want to be married to). And now she's stuck stuck stuck. She tried to kick him out but they can't afford that. He stayed with his sister for a while but the truth is they just don't have the funds anymore to have a roof over their heads AND be seperated.
Anyway. Me: cynical now, jaded now. Have an exit strategy is my advice. Then hope that you don't have to use it.