Tau

I agree that we need to change our relationships and behavior based on the history of the people we're involved with.

I just want to emphasize the point that we're talking about defining a WHOLE person based on specific choices that they have made. I just can't make that leap myself. Perhaps its as a result of my anthropology background, or from my own personal experiences, but I truly believe that people just are - and sometimes they make seriously horrible choices.

I know that everyone has a reason for what they do, and the vast majority of those reasons can be justified well within their own worldviews. The conflict arises when their worldview conflicts with ours or societies as a whole.

So in the case of your uncle - lets say he did something at one point. Keeping your children safe is important, changing the nature of your relationship is inevitable, but perhaps, evening knowing that he did something - you know that he is capable of both good and bad things, and knowing him as a whole individual, you cannot state that he is bad, or evil. Thats where I am coming from.