Hi,
This is my very first post here
I'm searching for advice on a problem that my son is having at school.
Here's the background:
He plays in the marching band at school. He's 14 and in 9th grade. He has an expensive trumpet and during band camp it was damaged, we believe on purpose but can't be proven. $170.00 to fix it so far. Since school started in August, he has been picked on, his trumpet has been hidden from him, caps and slides have been taken off it. All of this has taken place during regular class hours in orchestra class. Two seniors (and a couple of underclassmen) are responsible for the bullying. 2 Fridays ago, someone stole his bookbag and stuff out of it during band class. They put salt in his trumpet. The two seniors grabbed him by the waist and the legs and tried to lock him in a tuba case. They were unsuccessful at that because my son grabbed valve oil and shot them in the face. They dropped him to the floor and started stepping on him. He had many bruises on his legs, not really bad bruises (only one of those) and stepped on his ankle and hurt his ankle. Luckily, he tasted the salt and didn't inhale it ( I was told that if he had of inhaled it, it could have caused tissue damage to his lungs and possibly pneumonia). We took him to the doctor for an illness and while we were there had these bruises documented. The Dr. said it was time to call the police in. This all happened within 30 minutes of class beginning. The instructor was in his office at the time and unaware that any of this had taken place. When I went to the band director (I went a few times before about the trumpet damage and horseplay that was going on), he called some of these students out and talked with them. After hearing about the tuba case incident I was really angry and went to him again. I informed him that I would be going to the principal on Monday. Well, I did. The only thing that has happened to these boys is they were given a "talking to" by the principal, a parent was called in for a conference - and that's it. These boys admitted to putting their hands on my son. One of the boys involved is a student leader in the trumpet section of the Marching Band. I requested that he be demoted because he obviously can't handle the maturity level that goes along with that position - nothing was done at all. Now, my son and I are being ostracized by the band members and their parents. One boy's parent is the secretary for the band booster club and swears that he is innocent. I'm in South Carolina and we do have a bullying law here in this state that addressess this kind of harrassment to the person and their property.
Ok, so now - today - there has been a special practice called after school for the trumpets and all brass instruments. This practice was called by a student leader - not by the teacher. The teacher is aware of the practice though. I've emailed the teacher and called and left a voice mail wanting to know if he or any other adult was going to be at the school today to supervise these kids. I'm not too keen on sending my son in there with these bullies and no adults around. Well, as I'm writing this I've still not gotten a response to my question. With these special practices, if you don't show up then privileges can be taken away. I and my son realize the importance of showing up for this, but like I said I'm very wary of sending him without knowing for sure. I would hope that these boys wouldn't do something stupid, but I only have the past to judge them on right now.
I've never been in a situation like this before and don't want to come across as a "hovering mother" - even though he's my responsbility until he's of age. I don't want to seperate him from the group but I'm just not sure if I should let him go without knowing for sure. Last year, a special practice was called and the kids were there (on the practice field outside) by themselves for 2 hours.
So, what do you think I should do? It really has let me down to know that these kids are not made to take responsibility for their actions and I'm very angry about this situation. It has let me down to know that I've tried to address this situation since August 10th and have completely ingnored. If someone would have listened to me and tried to help we probably wouldn't have gotten to this point. I don't want my anger to cloud my judgement though.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Tammy