worriedmother

Why is it so hard to trust your son again when you found out he was having sex? He was having sex with a 15 yr. old while he was 18......They had been dating for over a year, when they met, she was 14, he was 17. Her parents came to me and ask if it was ok with me if they dated, no car dates, just him coming over to her house while they were there.........I told her I didn't like the age difference and that my son was of age to date, that the decision was really hers, since her daughter was 14 at the time........I seen no harm really since they would be supervised........Well, she started lying to her parents about staying all night with friends and would go meet my son and one thing led to another.........Her mother gave me a call one evening to inform me that if I didn't keep my son away from her daughter that she was going to the police to get him for statutory rape.................That was one of the worst days of my life, but we got through it...........there's much more to that story, but enough said.......

So now, my son is dating a girl whom is 16 and he just turned 19, I dont like this either and I've tried very hard to discourage this, but what can i do? I've noticed though that he's been staying home almost every night, except weekends, which is very unusual...........I asked him why and he said because he and the girl are not allowed to see each other because her parents forbid it because they found out about the ordeal with the 15 year old girl. I still don't have a problem with that either, I was kind of relieved......he further went on the tell me about how her parents had been calling him, emailing him and harrassing him over them being together......he showed me the emails from her mother, where she talked about him and put him down just like he was a murderer or something. These parents also are "Pastors" of a church here in our hometown. When I had read what all she had said to him, I was furious.........I slept on it overnight and wondered if I should respond to her about it and decided I'd email her to find out what the reason for her speaking to him the way she did...............Which I found out he was also having sex with her now..........another HEARTBREAK.............I was truly very nice to her in our emails and told her how i respected her wishes for them not to see each other, but she replies to me with the most rudest comments I had ever seen...........Telling me how I had raised a child with no morals, no guidance and so forth.........Which made me even more mad........I very calmy emailed her back with I'll respect your wishes and try my best to do what's necessary to keep them apart.....I didn't want to show myself to a Preachers wife, which in return, I'd thought she wouldn't want to portray herself to me in the manner she did........but oh well.

So, all day long I have felt like a dog, I feel that I have failed as a Parent......He's my only son and I raised him the best I knew how....He was raised in Church, He was raised with Morals and Guidance. We've talked about Sex, The importance of waiting, The risks of Sex and etc...

Why is it that the Boys are always to Blame? Doesn't it take Two to Tango? Why am I the bad parent because my son had Sex, didn't hers do the same thing? I'm sure she's upset too, just as I am, but I don't hate her daughter, I don't call and threaten her or call her bad names..........

I just don't understand this............Teen years, My Mom always told me I'd reap what I had sewn..........Boy was she telling me the truth!!! I'm sorry for venting so much, I just feel alot better at the moment for getting this off my chest.....