NewOregonDad

Greetings.

a quick synopsis of my new and interesting situation: i've moved to a different state with a young widow and her 9 year old son after about a year of dating. we're very excited about our new lives together, as a new family. i have no children of my own, so my relationship with "Bobby" represents my first experience with parenting. i've fallen deeply in love with both of them.

the issue (or non-issue, i don't have the experience to differentiate yet): "Bobby" won't sleep without his mother. She adheres to an attachment-parenting style, which is a direct result of tragically losing both her husband and 9 year old daughter to cancer (2000 and 2005, respectively). i understand this mentality and agree with and support her implicitly.
because of this situation, his new room remains unused. additionally, "Peggy" and i are experiencing sleep/private time issues (DVD player brought to bed, *what are you doing in there? can i come in?*, et cetera). my undergrad psych remnants and instinct tell me that it's simple territorialism, and i should take nothing personally, no matter how rude he may act outwardly.

i want to include him in every aspect of my life. i'd also like to sleep at bedtime, with his mother. are these concepts mutually exclusive in my new world as the only father figure the boy's ever had? and the only boy i've ever been positioned to father?

thanks in advance.