jtee

This does sound like a tough issue because of emotions involved with loosing a husband and daughter. Based on what you wrote, this sounds like something complex that it might require professional family counseling and\or a support group.

I have very limited experience with this, so I personally am reluctant to advise very much. I do know that everybody deals with death differently, some rebound quicker than others. My grandmother lost my grandfather at a young age, and she never rebounded enough to want to get married again. I've known others to accept it and within a year and move on.

Pre-teen Kids tend to bounce back a bit quicker (less personal baggage), so if they aren't, consulting with a child psychologist is recommended.