Parents Forum

Kaytee · 10-01-2007, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FooserX

>>>>Fooser is entitled to his opinion, but he does not have children of this age, and I strongly think he his advice is very bad advice for your situation at this stage

1) Dude, your advice was "get involved." lol

2) And yes, my son is 4 years old, but I was a student not too long ago myself, and having a tutor helped big time. I went from C to A in a few weeks. Not only do they help reinforce the lessons...but they have the patience to work with you with no peer pressure. A kid doesn't have to feel stupid for asking questions when it's one on one. In a classroom setting, it can be intimidating asking questions and feeling like you're holding up the class.

Also, a kid needs to learn HOW to study and HOW to take notes, and what is and isn't important. There is a lot of crap in textbooks, and only a small part is on the tests, so it's really helpful to be able to show your kid what to study. A smart parent needs to teach their child how to allocate their time properly and prepare for tests in the most efficient manner. How many kids actually write up Flash Cards for tests? Probably none...yet they are a very very fast way to get things into memory. They don't teach how to study in school.

There are all kinds of tricks to learning and note taking that kids will never know. Teachers teach their subject and that is it. There is no class on "How to be a good student." That's why it's up to the parent (tutor) to teach the kid how to learn and how to make the most out of homework time...or how to write good papers.

If you want to call my advice bad, fine....but at least I'm giving real suggestions that I personally know have positive results. What will the meeting with the teacher accomplish? NADA. I'm not saying that is a bad idea...it isn't....but a parent needs to become MORE INVOLVED with the child and be there to make a difference. Talking to a teacher accomplishes nothing. What can a teacher do? Notify the parent of bad grades sooner? lol...wow! The teacher has 25 other kids in the class, he or she can only do so much. Other kids are not failing, so obviously the problem isn't with the teacher.

Posted same time as the one I did.

the only thing I have to add is that this child obviously knows how to study or she wouldn't be getting A's in half her classes

FooserX · 10-01-2007, 04:30 PM

>>>>the only thing I have to add is that this child obviously knows how to study or she wouldn't be getting A's in half her classes

Yeah...I didn't know how to interpret some of the classes the original poster listed.

I guess to preface my "from the hip" post, that's more or less for kids struggling academically. I mean for all we know, she could be a genius and just be so bored with school that she's losing interest and not doing work. That's why I did say that the teacher/parent conference is a good idea...I just think there is a lot more to it than that.

She DID bomb out last year too...so it could be issues with her family life too. Going from parent to parent has been known to have that effect, ya know. Whatever the issue...she still needs to learn the value of doing her work. Yeah, KT, you could be right...if she's getting A's, then maybe it's not a smart thing, but an emotional problem.

Kaytee · 10-01-2007, 04:38 PM

it could be many things and they definately need to figure out what is going on and quick!!

Fooser-admitting you may be wrong is the first step in being a nice person, Be careful!!!! lol

mamab · 10-01-2007, 04:49 PM

I would agree that if she is able to get an A in one or more classes, but has been failing miserably in the classes taught by the one teacher, that she obviously knows HOW to study. My guess is that there's a personality conflict between the teacher and your daughter. Perhaps they could move her to a different teacher? Also, is your daughter the only one struggling under this teacher? If she's not, I'd say it's definitely the teacher.

FooserX · 10-01-2007, 04:51 PM

>>>>My guess is that there's a personality conflict between the teacher and your daughter

Remember that the girl did horrible all last year too....so that doesn't seem to be the problem, I wouldn't think.

fallon · 10-01-2007, 05:03 PM

it so hard to tell at that age. it could be that she is doing really well in the classes that she doesn't have any friends in, and is distracted by her social life in the ones she's failing. I would say see what the school has to say and go from there

Tau · 10-01-2007, 05:13 PM

My experience has been that poor grades are generally a result of one of two things - not understanding the material, and not doing the homework.

In our home, our kids return from school, put away their belongings and change, do their chores, do their homework, and get prepped for the next day. They can usually get all of that done in about an hour - and they aren't allowed any privileges until they complete everything.

They have a laminated checklist on a wipe board, so that they can mark their tasks off as they go.

I'm always on "standby" during that hour (or two or three, depending on how long they drag their feet) to help keep them on track, to help with homework, and to keep them from bickering with one another. Its a good time for me to indulge online - because its easy to switch from focusing on them to keeping busy during the down times while they are properly focused.

Being accessible during a structured time for homework help keeps me abreast of what troubles my kids are having in certain subjects. We can then supplement at home, do other related neat projects, and so on.

Our middle school publishes the individual grade books online - and updates it every friday. They also have a homework hotline that I can phone into when there is any confusion about what assignments there are, or what they consist of. Those have been an immeasurable help and I would find out what similar resources your school offers.

Our policy has been that as soon as a missing assignment is published on the gradebook - all privileges are removed until I get a note from the teacher that its been turned in, or the updated gradebook reflects the change. This has been a great incentive - and inspires dialogue between our kids and their teachers. (while getting those notes!)

Two of my three children are ADHD, and forgetting to bring work home, complete it, and turn it in are frequent problems. They like school, are capable of the material, but often get stuck during one step of the process - staying closely in tune with homework times has made all the difference, and as a result they are all A/B students!

Make it a family endeavor, and homework loses its sting. Put work before play, and its something to complete efficiently so that they can forge ahead with activities they are passionate about. It requires a little more of your time, but the results are fast and really positive!

Kaytee · 10-01-2007, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tau

Our policy has been that as soon as a missing assignment is published on the gradebook - all privileges are removed until I get a note from the teacher that its been turned in, or the updated gradebook reflects the change. This has been a great incentive - and inspires dialogue between our kids and their teachers. (while getting those notes!)

I like that! May have to keep that for future reference

jtee · 10-01-2007, 05:52 PM

Fooser, some your suggestions is good advice after the parents understand what is causing the failing grades in some classes, not others. They need to understand what is going on first, not apply possible solutions and see if they work. First thing is to get informed, then take action.

Teresa · 10-02-2007, 05:48 AM

As a teacher AND as a parent, I find that middle school is the time when parents need to start to be LESS involved with the schoolwork. Keep an eye on how things are going, but slowly but surely begin to turn the reins over the student, so that by the beginning of high school, they can take on the full responsibility for themselves. Both of my girls had grades like those in seventh grade, for the first nine weeks....they saw where they needed to step it up, they were grounded until the next report card so they had plenty of time TO step up the studying and the work, and they were able to get things back on track.

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