aean

I joined this forum for this reason:

Recently, my son's mum rang me up to tell me that the daycare provider makes our son (a year this month) sit for 45 minutes to an hour. That's it. Just sit there. This is my first child and I everything I learn I get from Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child. It is impossible for me to conceive of the idea that a small infant who just just got the hang of crawling can be sat down for five minutes, let alone 45 minutes to an hour. When my son visits he's all over the place. And that's fine. If he gets too close to something I don't want him near, I pick him up and either play with him or give him something else to play with (of course he always goes back to the forbidden object).

A little background info here: the daycare provider is my ex's sister and husband that they run out of their house. I know them well and even attended bible studies at their home. i've known them for about three years and i've learnt that the husband is something of a control freak. Not abusive, just a control freak. My theory is this: he's found a way to make my son sit still so he can go off an do whatever it is he's doing. As I understand it, a child's sense of time is different from ours. to a 2yo fifteen minutes is supposed to be like an hour or something. my ex punishes her 2yo by making her sit for 2 minutes (age matching).

Am I being paranoid? right now, I can't help but wonder what this guy is doing to my son to make him just sit there like a zombie. I've never seen it for myself, but according to my ex: 'it's like he's afraid to move until he sees me. And even then, Charles (name change) gets upset when I let him crawl around'.

I'm at my wits end. I'm trying to talk me ex into finding a different provider, but she doesn't want that because she doesn't 'trust anyone else with my kids'.

evilbrent

making a kid sit for an hour is cruel.

if the baby sitter's house is so un-childproof that a 1 yr old can't wander about basically unattended... what's it going to be like in 6 month's time???

Talk to the baby sitter yourself. Explain your needs. See if they can meet your needs, and if they can't then find a new baby sitter and go check them out yourself.

restraining a child's need to explore and understand their surroundings at this age can have a serious impact on the way they view the world and themselves at a later age.

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evilbrent

a child isn't part of the furniture. he's not a desk lamp. He's not a poster of a child.

he's a human being and he's here to stay. when you accept a child to come into your home you accept the whole child, and the ADULT makes room for the CHILD.

If your ex's sister's husband cannot handle the idea of a child wandering freely around the house - even further; if he's not THRILLED by the idea - then he doesn't deserve to have the kid in his house. That's not a good environment.

I think that talking to the guy is a good idea. It's not 'butting in'. You're the dad. It's your business.

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Kaytee

I agree 45min. is a long time to sit still for anyone. What does he do make him sit still. Sre they strapping ihm into a chair or something?

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fallon

I agree. I would want to know how it is that they got a baby to sit that long. There is no way my 11 month old would stand for that...lol babies this age are very busy, the only time My son is still for 45 minutes is when he's asleep, and fourcing a child to sit that long is crule as far as I can tell

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FooserX

Maybe they just put him in a crib for 45 minutes without playing with him?

Is that bad for a baby?

fallon

I guess it depends on the baby...my dd was happy to play in a playpen for about 45 minutes at a time but if I put my son in his crib when he wasn't tried he's scream his fool head off the whole time

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Kaytee

yes that would be cruel if the child was unhappy. or a child too young to tell you they were unhappy.

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Lissa

You're not being paranoid at all. 45 minutes in a crib is cruel. I would never do that to my son. At that age especially, they need to explore and learn. Being trapped in a crib isn't going to give them that opportunity. Is there a reason she puts him in a crib when it's not nap time? Cribs should only be used for sleeping IMO. I've never been for confining a child.

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fallon

I agree. Now when logan was much smaller I use to put him in there for a couple minutes so I could grab a quick shower but he was never left to cry...usually he would fall asleep lying quietly. He know sexactly what his crib is for...lol

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