Parents Forum

Kaytee · 06-08-2007, 08:58 PM

aww My sister in law gives my dd a x-mas ornament every year as well. Since she is Nicholes Godmother, its religious. She has only gotten one so far, since she is only had one x-mas but.... I love the idea as well.
My sister always get 2 board game type games for the "family" from "santa". Things they do every family night. Once a week for them.
It is about the spirit and that is the way it should be. Nichole will be taught about Santa and more so Jesus, but when she gets older and starts to question, we will talk to her about the spirit of x-mas and Santa

bmcintyr · 07-20-2007, 11:26 AM

I think it's a fun way to keep your kids excited and behaving well. But once they are 5 and going to school, I think you should tell them if they already haven't figured it out.

newdad06 · 07-20-2007, 12:44 PM

jtee · 07-20-2007, 03:47 PM

I feel very strongly on this issue on supporting the magic of allowing kids to believe in Santa.

It is not only a good thing, it is a very important, healthy, and natural part of every child's development. It helps them develop the into individuals that believe anything is possible and life is full of wonder. We have always encouraged this in our daughter and she has taken great joy in believing in all kinds of magical figures that are not real. She knows Santa is not real, but loves the magic of Christmas because it always has been such a fun time. Childhood should be full of wonder and magic and beleiving in all kinds of impossible things that only exist in fairy tales and other mythical fables.

Personally for us it this is a very critical factor that can not be stressed enough in the raising of any child.

Tom · 07-20-2007, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtee

...natural part of every child's development.

I'm not sure I see anything natural about it actually being that Santa is completely man-made. To me it rings as unnatural if anything and that's kind of the problem I have with it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtee

It helps them develop the into individuals that believe anything is possible and life is full of wonder.

If that's true, how does that translate the day they learn Santa is not real?

The reason I like this subject is because it's conflicting for me. On one hand I remember how magical that Christmas feeling was and have a problem thinking of denying my child that. On the other hand I have a problem lying to my child (yes part of me thinks of this as little more than straight-up lying with good intent). Teaching my child something that is plainly not factual when (I've said this earlier in the thread) their brain is struggling to make connections interpreting their environment and life in general ... at that time Santa adds in this element of "oh by the way, there's magic" and I have a problem seeing how that doesn't hurt the learning process.

jtee · 07-20-2007, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bmcintyr

But once they are 5 and going to school, I think you should tell them if they already haven't figured it out.

I am going to echo newdad's question, Why tell them?

Personally I think you should never tell a child that an mythical or magical figure is not real. These figures represent something special to a child and often symbolize traits for them to emulate. And besides, why spoil their fun of being a child and believing in wonderful things.

The 1950's version of Miracle on 34th street is a great movie and addresses this issue pretty well. Basically wonderful things can come true, if you beleive that it is possible. It is fanstasy movie where Santa is both real and not real.

jtee · 07-20-2007, 05:53 PM

Tom, We'll just have to disagree in a respectful way on this issue.

I feel no conflict and feel strongly that fantasy characters that children believe are real, play a valuable role in a child's development. Santa represent just one of many characters that kids believe exist, and if parents feel they need to take a stance, for whatever reason, to tell their children Santa is not real, they need to be consistent with similar other fictional characters. The argument could be extended further to individual religious beliefs (God, the ultimate 'Santa'), but I won't go down that rabbit hole

Maybe there is a middle ground where parents could preserve the magic and specialness of what Santa (and other such characters) represents without pretending he is real. To me what is important is that kids grow up believing that magical things can and do happen, and that it is OK for them to pretend that some things are real while they are playing, or have imaginary playmates, and anything else their wonderful little minds want to conjurer up. Let them decide and figure out what is real (with in reason, you don't want them jumping off roofs thinking they can fly, etc. Most don't go that far anyway). It is good for parents to pretend with them, it is a lot of fun too.

When our daughter was much younger, she would have very long and detailed conversations with her room full dolls and stuff animals, and she would hear the dolls talk back to her. She would tell them Santa or the Easter Bunny was coming and all the wonderful things that were going to happen; it is very normal and healthy for all kids to believe in and do things that involve fantasy. It is extremely natural for them to behave this way. Kids pretend endlessly as they are growing up, is part of how they learn and how they cope with stress in their life.

It is my parenting philosophy to focus on what is infinitely possible, and let our daughter decide what she wants to believe is real and not real.... It should be noted that my wife doesn't agree with me on that 100%

kidsresources · 07-20-2007, 08:59 PM

"What you believe is true will be true"

I believe there's a Santa Claus and to me it's true

His job is to shove presents down chimneys, isnt it?

I remember watching the Christmas Movies, it was I think something about Journey to North Pole. It was so memorable that I wish to fly to North Pole to experience for myself.

Kaytee · 07-21-2007, 06:54 AM

Santa is "real". I don't agree that it is lying to your child when you teach them about santa. The way I see it, it is like anything make believe. Will you "lie to your child and not let them play on teh fake phone? Will you not let your children feed their baby dolls? Will you not let your child set up lincoln logs and use them to be forts for their care bears? It's all make believe. I envourage my child even as young as she is to play make believe. It's no deifferent with Santa. Some day she will not just stop believing in it. Well believeing is such a harsh word, I hope she always believes in Santa, just like I hope she always believes i magic.

Tom · 07-23-2007, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtee

Tom, We'll just have to disagree in a respectful way on this issue.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtee

The argument could be extended further to individual religious beliefs (God, the ultimate 'Santa'), but I won't go down that rabbit hole

Well I see a difference here. For those that believe in God, they actually do believe God exists. I don't think most parents that tell their child Santa exists believe he does.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtee

Maybe there is a middle ground where parents could preserve the magic and specialness of what Santa (and other such characters) represents without pretending he is real.

This sounds very much like what my wife says to me. She talks about teaching of the spirit of Santa Claus without specifically adressing the physical aspect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtee

To me what is important is that kids grow up believing that magical things can and do happen, and that it is OK for them to pretend that some things are real while they are playing, or have imaginary playmates, and anything else their wonderful little minds want to conjurer up. Let them decide and figure out what is real (with in reason, you don't want them jumping off roofs thinking they can fly, etc. Most don't go that far anyway). It is good for parents to pretend with them, it is a lot of fun too.

Absolutely and I am all for imagination, pretend play, and lots of it.

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