yulia

...to stop arguing with your spouse when relationship reached a point of arguing over EVERYTHING?
Is it even possible to regain respect to each other when is little to none respect left during those arguments? Is it possible to LEARN how to compromise when we’ve been failing to do so our entire marriage?

Any happy stories?

musicmom

I think there is a way. It depends on your belief system. Your higher power etc. I find it's better to have a third party who is not biased to either side. Instead of a third party (perferablly a counselor or preacher or professional) to give you idea's how to change your way of thinking and give you new techniques.
I believe marriages are like people. People have to reinvent themselves right? Well, marriages have to bend with those changes.
Especially when children are involved I believe you have to try everything.
You need to really think about "would you be happy if that person were in another relationship being loved and cared for and it wasn't you?"
Are you going to be ok with a step parent?
Have you been through alot together that it's worth saving?
I think as long as there is no abuse of any kind..physical, mental, vebal or substance then a marriage CAN be mended.
IF you are going through this and it's about you Yulia, I'm very sorry you are going through this. It's a trying time. Hang in there.
You can get to a place where you are happy together if that's what you both want.

WHYTEKNYGHT2003

i believe so. if not for you guys at least for the kids. no kids should have to grow up with their parents arguing all of the time. a fight once in a while is alright, its a good way to relieve some of the tension i believe (a word fight, that is) but just make sure to keep it from the kids. you dont want them wondering if it is their fault. and i guarentee they will. been there with my little brother, he thought it was his fault that they argue, and i helped him through it, it actually brought us closer. now that ive moved out, he knows he has a place to stay for the night if he needs it if it gets real bad back at home. but apparently it has calmed down now which is good. heres a point of advice that i believe will help. if you find yourselves arguing often, right when it starts, take a step back and think to yourself: "is this really an issue worth righting over?" im sure in most cases youll find that it isnt. arguments will happen, but they dont always have to. and i am sure in some or most cases, if you step back for a minute before the argument gets involved, youll realize that you CAN find a compromise. i hope this helps.

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fallon

I wish I had some for ya Yulia...I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and I truely hope you find what you're looking for

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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

FooserX

I feel all warm and fuzzy that someone else is as miserable with their spouse as I am. :-)

Lissa

Maybe you and Yulia should hook up. Don't you have a thing for immigrants?

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FooserX

Does she come with earplugs?

Lissa

Hi Foos. I like your new avatar. It reminds me of how much I hate you.

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yulia

Thanks, guys.

Of course, I have been thinking about kids, step parents, etc a LOT. I think this is pretty much the only reason at this stage that cools me down and keeps me from breaking the marriage.
However, sometimes I wonder if my life really worth so little that I have to live in this h*** just for their sake? And if it's even better for them to live in the environment where their parents constantly argue and many time they have to witness it ? I mean, after all they would still have both of us in their life even if we're apart.

Will it get better? Does it ever get better to the point where a marriage like this turns out a happy one after all (and I mean really happy, not just tolerating each other)?

FooserX

You know...even if you HATE each other, you shouldn't be yelling in front of your kids.

Don't you think?