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11-07-2007, 01:03 PM
| #1 | ||
| PF Fiend  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: dallastown, pa
Posts: 741
Rep Power: 105 Reputation: 2091   |
startin a daily funny quote/joke thread ill update it every morning. just to give us something to chuckle at every day. The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice. "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man. "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
__________________ Cause and effect, chain of events All of the chaos makes perfect sense When you're spinnin round, things come undone Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun | ||
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Funny Quote/Joke Of The Day 
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11-07-2007, 05:27 PM
| #3 | ||
| PF Regular  Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Mobile, AL
Posts: 33
Rep Power: 7 Reputation: 14 Children: I have three stepchildren and we have one together. Chris, 18, Scott, 17, Kristy, 11, and Midge, 5. |
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll have to tell that one to Hubby!
__________________ "You never see the bad days in a photo album, but it’s those days that get us from one happy snapshot to the next." | ||
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11-08-2007, 06:20 AM
| #5 | ||
| PF Fiend Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: dallastown, pa
Posts: 741
Rep Power: 105 Reputation: 2091 |
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon."
__________________ Cause and effect, chain of events All of the chaos makes perfect sense When you're spinnin round, things come undone Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun | ||
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11-08-2007, 07:08 AM
| #6 | ||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,472
Rep Power: 1353 Reputation: 30899 Children: 2 children, Debra Lyn, and Logan (Bubba) Michael |
I like that one
__________________  Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult | ||
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11-08-2007, 07:28 AM
| #7 | ||
| PF Fiend Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: dallastown, pa
Posts: 741
Rep Power: 105 Reputation: 2091 |
Yeah me too. i sifted through alot till i found this one. ive been firguring i should try to keep it clean in this forum
__________________ Cause and effect, chain of events All of the chaos makes perfect sense When you're spinnin round, things come undone Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun | ||
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11-08-2007, 07:43 AM
| #8 | ||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 7,167
Rep Power: 940 Reputation: 19656 Children: Nichole |
cute lol
__________________  If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them! http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com | ||
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11-09-2007, 06:23 AM
| #10 | ||
| PF Fiend Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: dallastown, pa
Posts: 741
Rep Power: 105 Reputation: 2091 |
here. this one is for you ladies out there There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children. One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw an elf by the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up. Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with the elf, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and one lived. Who died and who lived? The perfect woman, because the perfect man and elves aren't real.
__________________ Cause and effect, chain of events All of the chaos makes perfect sense When you're spinnin round, things come undone Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun | ||
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