naturegirl

hello everyone. i have come to this forum in complete frustration, and i figure the internet is a great place to get lots of different perspectives on so many things. maybe there is someone out there who has even been in my shoes.
i am married with 2 daughters, 9 and 12. my oldest has been a daddy's girl since birth. and he has taken to her since that time too. over time it has gone from me being so proud of it to being jeolous of it. he is nicer to her than to me and she is nicer to him than me. i grew her and spit her out, and he gets all the glory. i am always the bad guy, since i am more strict. i feel like i can't win. i remember feeling this way about my own mother, who passed away when i was 12. i don't want to perpetuate the cycle. every day i wake hoping it will change, but it doesn't.
help!!

Dadu2004

I think it's natural for a child to take to one parent more than the other. That's where the sayings "daddy's girl" and "mama's boy" come from. Just because your daughter gravitates more to your husband than you doesn't mean she loves you less. It just means that they have a different sort of bond.

As far as being more strict, you and your husband need to be on the same page with discipline. You should both be equally strict, or the child will exploit the both of you.

musicmom

I think the relationship is very special. You shouldn't feel as if you are the bad guy. When your daughter wants a straight up answer she will come to you. Sometimes you have to be the disciplinarian instead of Disney mom. Try and make mental notes that you are not saying "no" alot to her and get out there and do things. Your daughter will get married and have children and she will need her mommy. It's just a part of growing up for her. I'm sure she loves you to death.
Sorry about your mothers passing ^i^

Good Wolf

I've heard that it is natural for girls to be closer to their dad's and boys to be closer to their moms.

__________________
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

jtee

I shall add that relationships change, as nearly all parent of teenagers can tell you "She was such perfectly little girl we did everything together, now...". Sometimes parents have better relationships with their children when they become adults, while others grow apart.

GreatStepMom

You are in a tough position and I can understand where you're coming from. As a stepmom, I am sometimes more strict on the boys than my husband is. And they run to him for hugs and avoid all physical contact with me entirely...
I think you need to sort out the situation with your husband first. Let him know that you want to spoil your daughter a bit too and ask him to take a back seat once in a while. Take some time over the weekend and go shopping together with your daughter - and ask your husband to hold back any other "special father-daughter time".

Good luck and stay strong!!