angelflying

Okay, so... I've been dating this guy whom I met on Singleparentloving.com for just about 2 months now.... Things were going great! Or so I thought. His job takes him out of town every week for 3 days or so (he's a pilot), but whenever he would be back in town we'd go out and have a great time. We've been sleeping together for a month or so now. I had originally taken my profile off of match when we became intimate, but saw that he still was active on match (and on yahoo). In fact, from what I saw, he checked these sites very regularly. Anyway, I put my profile back up once I saw he wasn't at the "exclusive" stage yet. No problems - I wasn't angry at all. I just wanted us to be on the same page.
The thing is, I was being asked out on dates, but wasn't going out because of the pilot. Because we were intimate. To make matters worse, some friends of mine have a guy they want me to meet, and he sounds GREAT. But I was hesitant to meet him because of pilot boy (and still haven't yet).
SO, I decided this past Friday I decided it was time to have "the talk". I asked him very non-confrontationally of course about his profiles being up, and whether he was still looking for other dates. He said he wasn't really, and he would take his profile(s) off. I thought... cool...
But then, I asked him if was seeing anyone else. I told him I didn't know whether he was ready for that step or not, but I needed to know because I've been asked out on other dates and just wanted us to be on the same page one way or the other. He dropped the bombshell and said he's involved (sexually, too) with another woman who lives 1,000 miles away.....
So I told him that I would, of course, date whomever I wanted to as well. There was no fighting (I don't like fighting, and there really is nothing to fight about here), but I have to admit I was disapppointed. He wanted to stay over, and have breakfast together the next day as we normally do, but I asked him to leave. I wanted to be alone.
The real problem to me is that knowing he's sleeping with someone else (and he said he cares about her, but that he cares about me, too) really makes the matter of ME sleeping with him unattractive (if that makes sense). And, I don't really want to allow myself to become emotionally attached to him, when he's obviously not attached to me.
The problem is I want to still date this guy, but now that we've already had sex (and had been having it frequently), how do you go back to "no sex"? Is it possible? And still feel you're moving forward with a real relationship?
Just curious what ya'll think of this...... What would you do in this situation? Two cents are desired!

meow_173

I would tell him thanks for the 2 months, but no thanks. It seems to me that he's got like a secret life whenver he goes to see this other women.
Its just not worth the drama, and hey, the person your friends want to hook you up with might be a million times hotter!

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Dadu2004

I have to agree with Meow...if he's already dealing with two relationships with two women, that's a big warning sign of what could come in the future. What's to say that he's going to commit to you, then change his mind? I think if you stay with him, you're setting yourself up for even larger problems and larger heart-ache in the future.

As far as sex to no sex...well, this is the electronic age! Have fun!!!

Trina

Ditto Meow. In the future I would wait until a relationship was more serious before sleeping together.

musicmom

I'd tell him to pack sand and he really wasn't that good in bed anyway, laugh and tell him to have a good one.
Then I would run to the dr's and get checked for everything under the sun.
I am so sorry you were disrespected like that. Lesson learned. Do not date and man that his "job" takes him away from home. You are just asking for trouble.
Good luck sweets. The right one will come along.

fallon

I agree 100%

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musicmom

FooserX

Basically, he doesn't like you enough to be exclusive.

If he did, he wouldn't be doing this.

At least he's honest!

Cthru

If you go back to 'no sex' at this point it'll pretty much send him more to this other woman. I'm sorry you are in this situation. It won't be easy on you, but I would quietly back out of this one. Other/Better fish in the sea.

HappyMomma

You are basically sleeping with everyone he is sleeping with. Scary in this day and age.

Did you know that one in four adults have herpes. Eeek!

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