forum type thing? Forum Stuff Discuss forum type thing? in the ParentingForums.org forums; I may be grasping at straws here, but I'll describe what I am looking for, and please let me knw if you've heard of something like it, and ...

[budnkota]

I may be grasping at straws here, but I'll describe what I am looking for, and please let me knw if you've heard of something like it, and where I would find such a thing

I would like to be able to have a place where I can exchange info with R's dad, without having to contact him directly (b/c his latest fiance has it in her head that I am trying to get him back simply b/c I'll tell him if R has a doc appt or something.)
I considered MySpace, but even though you can make a private profile, I don't think that'd go over well. I need something that would maybe be password protected or something so that nobody can access it without being authorized (he makes a bit production out of the fact I used to have a blog about R when he was a baby)
any thoughts? suggestions?
Maybe I need to start my own business, hosting some kind of info exchange thing like that. Except then I'd probably actually have to get the internet, rather than paying the neighbor $20 to use her WI-FI access.

[Music-dad]

Buy your own domain, like budnkota.com (or whatever) my website costs me $173 per year and I totally control it, I can add a password protected page, should I need it. I am in Canada and use Bell Hosting, try to find the American equivilent, just ask your current phone co. if they can provide the same service, or find one that does.

[musicmom]

Why are you so worried about the fiance? Am I missing something. You shouldn't have to hide anything if you share a child. I'm lost.
ps. Instead of a domain you have to pay for there are tons of free ones.

[1dayatatime]

Does email not work?

[Music-dad]

I agree MM, however most of the free ones don't allow you to add password protected pages that are completely secure.

I too agree with MM on the "why should this be an issue"? bit

You should have open communication for things like Dr. appt's.

As well, I agree with 1day, why can't email cut it?

[Cthru]

I don't think a forum setting would work for you.
Don't worry about what his finance thinks.. tough cookies for ms jealous.
You are a mom and he is a dad and the communication needs to remain open and civil for the sake of the child. If she can't handle that too bad so sad. I'd keep it in email or via phone.

[Music-dad]

Originally Posted by Cthru

I don't think a forum setting would work for you.
Don't worry about what his finance thinks.. tough cookies for ms jealous.
You are a mom and he is a dad and the communication needs to remain open and civil for the sake of the child. If she can't handle that too bad so sad. I'd keep it in email or via phone.

Well said!!!!

I will repeat..."Too Bad, So Sad!", for ms Jealous.

[budnkota]

It shouldn't, but it all plays into the custody stuff I mentioned the other day. Evaluator is buying their BS that I am trying to contact him because I want him. She's even written something like that in her report. Frightening that anybody would beleive that, but she met with him AND the fiance before she ever met me, so she heard their party line TWICE. Meaning she has some pretty strong preconceived notions before she ever met me. Her policy stated that the initial meeting was w/the parents together, which is more fair. That should have been followed - but the meeting w/Amy before even meeting me? I think that is exceptionally inappropriate. Especially since I told her I could come in at any time. It wasn't a matter of that's how the scheduling worked or anything like that.

Her report also stated that I never accomodate and all of that - even though I have altered my schedule every couple weeks to cater to him.
I was stunned during our mtg when I said that I was tired of always being the one to accomodate his demands, while he is never willing to flex anything for me. Her response was "It doesn't sound to me like you accomodate anything." What? Kind of funny that I let him take Ry during MY scheduled spring break, accomodated 2 schedule changes w/his daughters to allow him to have them on the same weekend, let him take him for part of Easter, even though it was my holiday... the list goes ON and ON. I have a nice little color-code chart showing most of my accomodations - and the times that he didn't honor his committments. pathetic.
How odd is this? We met in Feb, and she finally issued the report on May 19. In her report, she wrote that I was a sub teacher, but hadn't been called in since February. Uhmmm... how would she have any idea when I was called in, since she hasn't spoken to me since like Feb 9th? It's really, really odd.
Fortunately, much of what she wrote can be easily proven false and my attorney should be able to render her entire report pretty questionable because of those types of inaccuracies.

He is not really interested in what is going on with our son, but I feel an obligation to let him know, simply b/c it's best for R. I also want to make it accessible to a few other people (such as his parents), inviting them to keep up to date on what's going on in R's life. My reasoning for that? Because I want this to be the primary method of communication - and he can't continue to make many of the claims he does with regard to R and visitation if select others can clearly see that his stories are not accurate.
I also know that he feeds Amy a whole lot of BS about our communication. I heard the same stories myself once, with regard to his ex-wife. It's going to be hard for him to keep those claims up if she can log in herself and see what is said.
Another plus - if I make headings like health, school, etc, it will say how many people have viewed it. If I post that he went to the docs and nobody has read it, that demonstrates a lack of interest on his part
So if I put it in some kind of private forum, I am in no way contacting him - just putting the info in an accessible place.

In answer to a calling comment, he is barred from calling me by a court order, due to the levels of harassment. And that isn't a good option anyway, since he lies so pathologically and I need to have everything documented. Does n't stop him from lying, but at least it gives me something to demonstrate theres a credibility problem

[1dayatatime]

Man do I know how you feel. It sucks so much. Since we started the email only thing it worked for a few weeks, now she doesn't respond other to say whatever she wants. One more month. I'm sorry we both have to deal with this.

[Music-dad]

Ok, I followed up on you other posts, it seems to me that even if you did get him the info you would want you are co-violating a court order, and with his current attitude, he would just turn you in, and then you are in trouble. This is one of the oddest situations I've ever been privy too, to tell you the truth.

I would get yourself the best lawyer you can afford, but if ex-hubby has no interest in his child, I say at this point why take the risk, if you break a "no contact" court order, you are the "bad guy" in the eyes of the law, and that will give him the upper hand.

If you were to set up a secret website for his eyes only, how long do you think it would take for him to turn over the URL and the password to his lawyers and then the authorities, and try to turn the tables on you?

I say, at this point, lay low, follow the court recommendations to a tee, if he tries to contact you, inform the authorities immediately, don't take any chances what-so-ever. Do everything by-the-book!

Get a good lawyer now!, and ask his advice on every single move you make.

Don't take a chance on losing custody, if he doesn't wanna know anything, don't bother telling him anything. (for now at least)

I believe you were the OP of the "Nightmare" Thread,?