Plumb_Jess

My parents recently up and moved to Virginia. My mother took a job there because she recently was dismissed and she couldn't find a local job that would cover the cost of living for our family. The problem? I have five younger siblings, and my mothers new job reimburses for moving costs. It does not pay her for them. This means she has had to move to virginia and begin work, saving up for getting them all back up there. My dads job isn't the most stable, he's a salesman, so when and how much he gets paid depends on how much he works. With the moving he hasn't been, so its taking a very long time to save up for plane tickets.

In the meantime, my husband and I, two college "kids" (I am 20, he 22) with jobs and school, have been raising all but my youngest brother, who is five. We live in my grandmothers house, and have since before we were married, because she is confined to a wheel chair and oxygen at all times. She has many needs.

I am tearing my hair out. I know they are my family, but I can't help be angry with my parents for moving so far away and leaving my husband in I, in the middle of school, with four kids, and a grandmother. I have had to quit my job for my grandmother, just before the kids became my responsibility. My family will absolutely not hear of putting my grandmother in a home, and we can't afford a nurse to see about her because she owns her home and again, my family will not see this house sold.

My siblings get upset sometimes and cry, saying that I am not like their sister anymore. I understand. Before, I came to my parents house with tons of gifts and smiles; I was happy to see them. It's not that I'm not happy to see them, I'm just very frustrated when they tear down my blinds, or eat spoon fulls of sugar for breakfast. They say "You are grumpy all the time and I think its our fault." In a way, it is, but I just tell them I'm tired. I discipline them with spankings on the behind or time out, but it's as if all of that means nothing. They still behave like wild animals.

This space is so small and our money is so tight, we are all on top of each other and having to make do. My husband works from nearly eight to eight, if you consider commute. He's gone and I have to help my grandmother take baths, and get the kids fed, and get online and study for western civ and biology II. My parents knew about my responsibilities beforehand, and yet here they are, on my door step.

Do I have a right to be angry? My parents have not thanked me, or offered to help with much, since they are living out of a hotel right now. They barely even gave me notice. How do I cope and what do I do to ensure this does not happen to me any more? Do I have any alternative should my parents up and move across the country again, other than changing my number and locking my door? My grandmother gets SSI and my husband works as a tutor, but we aren't rich people. With all these ad-ins, we can't even live comfortably.

Any suggestions?

Kaytee

bad situation all right. I am so sorry that your parents did this to you without warning. I would be mad also. I'm not sure what advise I would be able to offer, other then telling your parents they need to do something. Isn't there any other family members that can help you?

__________________

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com

Plumb_Jess

My aunt was supposed to help with my grandmother. She brings groceries, and otherwise tells me I'm doing a horrible job... and that she can't "put her life on hold" for this. I feel bad because she says these things in front of my grandmother, her mom. And I know I'm slacking up, it's just really hard to handle all of this at one time. Her husband has a hernia currently, having surgery soon. Sometimes he mows grass if he isn't too tired from work.

parise1

I feel for you that you have been put into this position. It is a shame that yuou have to be the mother instead of the sister to your siblings. I hope things get better for you.