GilbertDaddy

As a full-time single dad, money gets tight.

My lease is ending on our big 5 bedroom and I'm bleeding cash I don't have. My daycare costs are going up due to summer break and I don't see myself affording a 4 bedroom.

It's only about $200/month more for the 4bedroom, but I'm already a couple hundred in the red depending on side income that may or may not come in. I can't really justify the 4 bedroom if I can save 200+ a month in heating/cooling + rent.

I have a family member living with us right now (she's elderly and disabled) who is supposed to be moving out, but I don't see how her income will allow it - so I'm assuming she's coming with as I move again.

In the smaller 3 bedroom, that means the kids will have to share a room.

They've done so before last year when my ex left the state and I only had my 1 bedroom apt. But I like the idea of them having their own rooms.

In the apartment they were a year or two younger (DD will be 7 in August and my son will be 4 in Nov.).

Currently the rooms are only used for sleeping - the three of us spend every waking minute together, so I'm not worried about the room being cramped. They prefer to be around me than alone in their rooms anywho.

I personally can't come up with any REAL reason why they can't share a bunkbed my ex's mom is giving me (used 3 times in 3 years - it's brand new).

I have about a year before I'm 100% debt-free again so the smaller house would keep me in the black while I do this on my own (ex can't afford child support).



If they were both the same sex I wouldn't have a problem, but I still am just not quite "sure" about it. My daughter doesn't mind because she loves her brother and loves the idea of being in the top bunk. My son loves his sister so he'd be rooming with his best friend.

After this next lease is up, I can buy a house, and the market is going to allow me to get a 4 bedroom next time, so it's only for a year.


What would you guys/gals do?


Ideally, if it's just us 3 and the family member can find somewhere else to live, it's not a problem. But I'm planning for the worst and hoping for the best.


I've read quite a bit from siblings who shared a room growing up and they mostly seemed to agree it gave them a chance to bond that they might normally have. In other countries, entire families share rooms, but in the US, we seem to have a certain aversion to it.

I'm thinking since it's only for a year.. it could be fun and a great way to save money for the more important things like daycare, food, rent, and bills.

thoughts?

musicmom

When a child turns four they are no longer allowed to sleep in the same room with the opposite sex. Here we have a law and you could get in big trouble if someone reports you.
If I didn't have a choice then I would do the bunk beds or not have the lady roomate come along. I'd have to tell her you just do not have the room. You chldren come first.

GilbertDaddy

Wow that's weird!

I haven't seen anything in the Arizona Revised Statutes that prohibit that here, I didn't know it was actually illegal anywhere.

Unfortunately that female is my mother =/ She's been homeless before and she'll die if I don't take her in. The federal assistance waiting list she's on have 3-4 year wait times due to a lot of the illegal immigration in this state. The last shelter she was at, one person was hacked to death with a machete and another person was going around raping elderly women. My mom was actually on the news then because she was next but they caught him after he had already abused half a dozen older women =/

But back on track, yeah I really have no other option. The only way for my mom to live with us without being a distraction to my children's studies and sleep is to have her own room. She lived on my couch for almost a year and the kids couldn't focus on dinner, homework, or anything because of wanting to play with their nana.


The bunkbeds seem good. I could also give my daughter the room and let my son have his toddler bed in my room, but for the same reason as above, I'm hesitant to share a room with him because the last time he kept crawling into my bed without me knowing it and when he did get his own room was unable to sleep without his dad..

Gotta love the challenges of parenting

Music-dad

I think sharing a room with your son is the better idea, not the best, but better.

Your son is only 3, it shouldn't bother him (or you) if it's only for a year.

GilbertDaddy

Doesn't bother me at all.. he's like a big teddy bear

Only problem is that he won't sleep in his own bed. If I catch him, he goes back in his bed, but last time, the majority of the time was spent on the other side of dad's bed. He even got sneaky and started bringing his own blanket with him so that he wouldn't wake me up and get busted by taking part of mine

Music-dad

Awww...that's so cute. My DD every Friday wants to switch beds, she gets mine and I get the pink disney princess canopy bed. Good thing I bought her the most comfortable matress I could find.

I don't think it's a problem for you that can't be resolved though.

Kaytee

ok the law that she is referring to is mainly for kids in foster care not brothers and sisters. There is nothing wrong with them sharing a room for a year!! Heck I have seen 3 kids in one bedroom and it was fine. Now I will say that when it gets closer to puberty time then the daughter should have her own room (or same sex)

__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

musicmom

GilbertDaddy

Do you have a source by chance?

That's usually something the states and federal level authorities leave to the parents.

Heck, in Arizona for example, there's not even a law stating how old a child has to be in order to be left alone. It's left to the "good authority" of the parent.

Most police believe that to be around 13 from the sources I found in my research.

fallon

my daughter is almost 6 and her bother is 14 months old. They share a room and it's not a problem

__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.