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10-15-2007, 03:14 AM
| #1 | ||
| Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: hampshire
Posts: 5
Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10  Children: girl born dec 2000 |
I live with my fiancee who has a 6 year old girl from a previous marriage, my fiancee has sole custody of their daughter. Her ex husband sees his daughter every week, on a Friday after school one week (1530-1730) and then Saturday morning till Sunday evening the next week. This process then repeats. Unfortunately we are experiencing problems from her ex husband. He doesnt give any positive parenting from his side regarding the break up and the new home his daughter now finds herself in. For example, she has to call me names what he gives me because he doesnt like me, he talks to her about court cases and tells his daughter mummy lies about money (he is in court for not paying maintenance), he tells his daughter she can go and live with him if she isnt happy with us. Perhaps one of the best ones he said was that if i died he could move back in! We are worried about the pyschological damage this is doing to our girl and what is the best way to alleviate this. We have spoke about having supervised visits, is this easy to implement? We have also spoke about moving out of the area, this would limit his access and lessen his influence, would there be any issues with this? Any help or advice gratefully received. Thanks | ||
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Custody Issues and protecting our daughter |
10-15-2007, 06:41 AM
| #2 | ||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,420
Rep Power: 1306 Reputation: 29731  Children: 2 children, Debra Lyn, and Logan (Bubba) Michael |
I'm not sure how the laws are where you're at, but here in you postion the family would have been given a case worker that helps with visitaion and child support issues. It's really sad beacause some parents just don't see the damage that his kind of behavior does to a child. If it's at all possible your wife should try to talk to her ex about this and how it effects the child
__________________  Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult | ||
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10-15-2007, 06:45 AM
| #3 | ||
| Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: hampshire
Posts: 5
Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10 Children: girl born dec 2000 |
Fallon I hear what you are saying, unfortunately he wont enter into any dialogue with us, if he does it is just generally abusive, he didnt pay any attention to the letter the child counsellor sent him and his invite to attend the counsellor with us fell on deaf ears. I think he's what you call an idiot. | ||
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10-15-2007, 06:48 AM
| #4 | ||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 7,167
Rep Power: 939 Reputation: 19656 Children: Nichole |
I also think that is so sad. I do not understand why parnts would ever put their child in a postion like that. I would go to a case worker or family lawyer and ask them what y ou should do
__________________  If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them! http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com | ||
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10-15-2007, 09:32 AM
| #5 | ||
| PF Regular Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 26
Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10 Children: 3 (Very) Darling Daughters - Christina (18 yrs.), Kelly (16 yrs.) and Amy (7 yrs.) |
This issue is close to home for me, too. Here in our area, emotional abuse isn't given the same protection as physical abuse. But that's exactly what this is. Using this child to deal through his own issues. Creating problems for her, instead of helping her. And overall doing a poor job of parenting. It's incredibly sad. The only advice I can give is DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. We have had to reduce visitation once (and may have to do so again). It has been an invaluable tool when trying to show patterns of bad parenting. Good luck, though. It's a terrible thing to have to live through. Both yourselves and seeing an innocent child having to deal with it. | ||
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10-16-2007, 04:20 AM
| #6 | ||
| PF Fiend  Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ohio
Posts: 735
Rep Power: 732 Reputation: 17678 Children: Brian, 22; Adrienne, 18: Amy, 15 |
How very sad for this little girl to have to deal with these things. I don't know how things are in your area, but around here, emotional abuse isn't given the weight that it should be, and that makes supervised visits difficult to get for those conditions. As far as moving out of the area, around here your fiancee would have to have a very good reason, such as a better job or bettering her education. Otherwise, the chance to have a continued relationship with Dad would get the high priority, and permission to move out of the area would be denied. My only suggestion at this point is to continue the counselling for her, and for you to continue to love her and treat her as your own.
__________________  Wife to Barry Mother to Brian,Adrienne and Amy Christianity is not a religion like most people think. Christianity is a life of imitating Jesus. | ||
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10-16-2007, 09:52 PM
| #7 | ||
| PF Addict  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: AZ
Posts: 1,200
Rep Power: 797 Reputation: 19164 Children: 4yo girl 1yo boy |
I'm so close to these issues it's hard to comment on your situation. I deal with the same kinds of things from the mother. I feel completely helpless. It's frustrating. I want to protect her from her parent. I want to have my stepdaughter evaluated by a psychologist. Once I do that, then what? If there is a serious issue I fear I will not have the financial resources to fix the situation through the court system. Today was a bad mommy day. It's so hard to tell what is real to a 4 year old. I pray your situation improves. | ||
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