budnkota

I don't know if I'd call about one report of a slap from a 5-y-o/ I would document, yes. Document everything. EVERYTHING. and if there seems to be pattern or freqency of such reports, then yes, better to get it checked out. Kids tell stories to get attention, especially in stressful situations. but if you do beleive there is a real problem and think it's not your place, that's where you are wrong. It is your place. It is all of our places to report child abuse. Though I don't know that CPS would care much about one slap on the face.

that said, it sounds like mom may have some problems, but I am wondering how much of what your BF is telling you is true and how much is BS? Mr wonderful likes to sign the song and dance about how he's so denied even when he used to not show up. I heard the story about his ex-wife, until I started to see the holes in his story - like the excuses when I'd suggest he pick them up for ice cream every weds. Some men just want to spew the "I'm such a victim story" even when it's complete BS. Pretending the want to be a real father is much easier than actually being a real father. His latest even whined to our parenting coordinator saying that when I contact him, it's an attempt to get him back. Either he doesn't tell he what the messages are (event at Ry's school at 2 pm, Ry stuffed bead up nose - at docs, etc) or she is so insecure in their relationship that any exchange of info is a threat to her....

As far as the gifts, it's not uncommon for a child to be confrontational with teh other woman. It can take time to grow

Sirk

yeah, I did just say "There's nothing wrong with that".
If you don't want X then don't get a guy with X in his life. Pretty simple.


Weird. You agreed with my advice to call CPS. So I guess we're not helpful.


I'm not going to argue this. I gave my advice and stand by it. There was nothing "put down"ish about it. If you have different advice, give it.

__________________
Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.
- Mother Teresa

http://www.crowdgather.com

mom2many

Children learn from everyone around them, the mom will have the most influence, that's true, but if dad stays in her life and is a constant part of her up brining, he will have just as much influence. That's good!

Don't force them to pick, they can be a very usefull tool in getting infromation about what is going on with the mother.



I really hope it works out and you guys can find some peace, and maybe one day far down the road everyone involved can put there issues aside and work towards bettering the little girls future!

__________________
Mom of pretty good kids.

kalygulah

thank you. her being like that was making me not even want to come back and check for replys!!

kalygulah

i def agree with you about reporting one slap esp if my boyfriend and his own mother think shes exaggerating, but i did ask him to still say something to her. if the child comes back and says it happened again then im def calling someone about it trust me. i also wondered how much of her craziness is really true but i was definatly sold when she was harrasing me at work and her constant calls to him im talking 30 times in a row i have the phone bill still, and once he changed his number she started doing it to his mom at 2am and just hanging up. pretty much just my own experiences with her harrasing me is enough to say she has problems on top of everyone else who knew her says the same thing, but they are his friends so theyre gonna say that. im not so sure on her parenting because i havent been around her or anything when she has her kid so that i cant really take a side on except for when she would go months without letting him see her so when he kept trying to blame her mom about her acting like that when i gave her that stuff i didnt really think was the issue.

budnkota

I guess harassing you would make a difference... but it just sets off alarm bells for me when you say she didn't let him see the kid for months. My ex likes to make claims like that when HE doesn't show up. If he's not being given access and really wants it, he could have filed a contempt charge against her...

kalygulah

Now that you said that it does make me remember that when he would go meet the mom to pick up the child he would always take one of his friends or his mom with him because if not shed call me, his mom, and his best friend and claim they messed around. So a lot of times when he couldn't get anyone to go with him he would just cancel at last minute. I completley forgot about that because for the past 3-4 months his mom has been the one going to pick her up. I try not to take a side at all with that issue of their parenting even when he blames her for how the kid acts I actually defend her and say its because she's 5. I have no idea how she is with the child and its not fair for him to just blame her for his kid acting bratty when she's just being a kid it just bothered me a lot that she was telling her kid to be mean to me and breaking stuff that I gave her and that's when I started questioning her parenting skills. I don't know I'm just assuming its that she's not accepted the fact that her kid has to be around her exs new gf. But still how she acted was ridiculous.

kalygulah

Now that you said that it does make me remember that when he would go meet the mom to pick up the child he would always take one of his friends or his mom with him because if not shed call me, his mom, and his best friend and claim they messed around. So a lot of times when he couldn't get anyone to go with him he would just cancel at last minute. I completley forgot about that because for the past 3-4 months his mom has been the one going to pick her up. I try not to take a side at all with that issue of their parenting even when he blames her for how the kid acts I actually defend her and say its because she's 5. I have no idea how she is with the child and its not fair for him to just blame her for his kid acting bratty when she's just being a kid it just bothered me a lot that she was telling her kid to be mean to me and breaking stuff that I gave her and that's when I started questioning her parenting skills. I don't know I'm just assuming its that she's not accepted the fact that her kid has to be around her exs new gf. But still how she acted was ridiculous.