manytrix

my partner left me 6 months ago. i have my son every other weekend! i would like to see him more but she is often very late dropping him off, or worse picking him up at the agreed times in the mornings leaving me desperately late for work sometimes by two hours or more, two months ago she moved on to a traveler site which is renowned for being a filthy mud and dog shit covered drug infested hell hole, i am dismayed! over christmas my son came to me with serious nappy rash ( open deep sores on his bottom ) so bad that he couldnt even sit down. i have parental responsibility but i'm not sure how to go about getting my son off that site and into far better care with me. recently i have also heard that she is now a full time ketamine user. HELP!

Kaytee

I am not sure how to help, but I would sugest calling a lawyer to see if they can help. Sounds like a nasty place to live. Wanted to add though, that my daughter has had SERIOUS diaper rash before. Bloody and all. I tried everything to get it to go away, but it went on for months and months. We ended up going to cloth diapers and now? No problems. Just wanted to let you know that sometimes diaper rash is not the fault of the parent

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fallon

you need to take her to court if you want to change anything...or call CPS (or whatever child protection agency is avail. where you are)

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musicmom

I honestly would not call CPS because you would look like a disgruntled parent. I would get a free counseling session with an attorney to see what your rights are. There are also several on line sites for fathers who are trying to do the same things that you are. Make note of everything you see, keep reciepts of any meds or dr's visits you have. YOu can go to family court services and file papers yourself for custody.
You need to have witnesses. Teachers? Family? Friends of hers? Anything to back up what you are saying so it looks as if you have the childs best interest at heart.
It's VERY hard to get a child away from it's mother. If what you say is true then you may not have a problem.
You do have the right to speak with the pediatrician, I would ask for his records. YOu may have to pay for them but go pick them up and look through them. That's start.....Good luck.

evilbrent

on the other hand... sending a kid back to live with their drug addict parent can be tantamount to condoning child abuse.

it's easier to get a child away from the mother if she's a junkie.

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Teresa

If the child is having issues such as you described and being made to live in deplorable conditions, you need to contact a lawyer and see if you can go about getting custody of the child. I would take the child to a doctor and have these things documented. Document everything you can on your own, as well....all the times she's late bringing him, late picking him up, any health problems, etc.

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EHB

Do whatever you can do to get full custody of the child. I can tell you up front, it will mean you will have to make a lot of sacrifices to do so. You will have to hire a nanny to help out during the day and this is costly. You will likely also have to make sure that your work hours are conducive to taking care of an infant. A six-month old is very dependent. It may mean changing jobs or even moving to provide the right environment, but if you really want what is in the best interests of your child, you owe it to him to make these sacrifices for his wellbeing.

Good luck, no matter what you decide.

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crimson_moon

How old is this child??? And what state do you live in? Is your divorce FINAL? Is her custody temporary? Did you petition for more custody and were given standard custody or is this something she decided on her own? If your divorce is still in process, you can fight for custody and require that she get a drug/alcohol test and if she fails, you can require her visits are supervised.

It's true that some states make it VERY difficult for the father to take the child away from the mother, but as it's been said already, that is all very circumstantial. I'm not a lawyer, but I have done a whole lot of research on custody.

I can first tell you that if your child is 12 years old or older, he can decide on his own to come live with you. If he's younger than that, you definitely need to start having everything documented. You can document things yourself, but you primarily need physicians statements, police reports, etc... anything "official". You can seek a drug test at any time, but you will have to hire an attorney and petition for it. Your attorney will subpeona her for a drug test and if she tests positive, you can pretty much guarantee you'll get custody. CPS HAS TO INVESTIGATE every single tip they recieve. You can call it in and remain anonymous - or tell them your situation. I have a friend that works for CPS and I'll ask her about a suggestion and what may possibly happen if you, yourself, report such a thing.

Lissa

Agreed 100%.

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JohannaEspinos

The first thing you need to consider is that YOU have to take care of the baby, and is harder thah the apperence because if you fail too these little one goes to a foster home and I think that is worse, think about it

And yes I agree with everyone else you need a lawyer and demonstrate this woman can't take care of your child

Good luck!!!

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:p All these little people will grow up and make this world a better place, is up to us so.... let' bring it moms and dads!!!