Parents Forum

keisha · 07-05-2007, 04:10 AM

hi, Does anyone wanna chat?? if so email me. i'm a 19 y o with a 7 month old son, does anyone believe in this no smacking policy that the government is trying to inforce on parents?? I believe in smacking but not whacking if my son does something wrong he will get a little smack on the bum where it is padded by the nappy or he will get a little smack on the hand. but i will never use a belt or anything like that... i was smacked as a kid i know plenty of kids who were smacked... well if anyone could get back to me please do so i'm very bored in my spare time and would love for mum's to email me
thanks keisha

Kaytee · 07-05-2007, 06:57 AM

Hi Keisha. I don't smack but you are more then welcome to come here and talk with us!!! We love new moms. Congrats on your 7mom old btw. My daughter is 18 months old. I have smacked her on hre booty one time, I was mad that she was not listening to me so I popped her on the diaper. Not hard, but I felt so bad afterward for doing it. Thats just me though. I vowed to never do it again. That was about 5 months ago and I have yet needed to smack her since. So post away on here and let us know more about you!

jtee · 07-05-2007, 12:39 PM

It is a slippery slope. It is easy to go from a simple "smack" to something else, to something else, to something else.

I feel strongly that a child should never be physically hit\harmed under any circumstances. There are far too many children going in emergency rooms every day as a result of parents exercising their "Parental Rights" to love their children as they see fit.

A parent that has the ability to limit themselves to simply a so-called "smack" and go no further, has the ability to come up with better and more effective\positive options.

Sillygurl2l8 · 07-05-2007, 12:45 PM

To each his own. You should not judge another for the way they raise/punish their child.

jtee · 07-05-2007, 01:40 PM

Parents do not have the right to harm their children. There is never a good reason to hit or harm a child, never. It is a parent’s rationalization that makes them perceive it is as justified. One parent might think getting into the cookie jar deserves a swat on the butt, another uses a hard slap on the face, another uses a burning cigarette. Each parent perceives their method as being an appropriate response to the having told "their" child not to get into the cookie jar. Of the three examples, the method that is most effect is the burning cigarette (the tip is 500-600 degrees); it creates instant and very intense pain that lasts for many hours and throbs for a couple of days, it causes no long lasting physical damage other than burn scars. It pretty much guarantees the child will not be putting his\her hand in the cookie jar any time soon. The parent who use the swat would likely say a burning cigarette is far too harsh (if not abuse), and the parent using the burning cigarette would say anything less is not enough. To be clear about my point, the use of a burning cigarette is extreme abuse, but the parent using that method doesn't perceive it as abuse, it is "normal" from their point of view. A swat is not abuse per se, but there are better more effective\positive options for thoughtful parents to consider that won't lead them down the slippery slop towards abuse.

keisha · 07-05-2007, 06:38 PM

thankyou all for your point of views, at the moment i have not smacked or harmed my son.... you all now might have different opinions whether or not i'm a good parent but i am... everyone does have their own techniques of discipline... if anyone would like to tip me a few be welcomed... as i have a little time before wandering hands... i'm sorry if this has hit a few sore spots.... i too have seem the affect that abuse has on children. well thanks again

keisha · 07-05-2007, 06:40 PM

i should rephrase that ( at the moment) it is i have never smacked or harmed my son but again it is every was has their own points and was raised different and has different backgrounds i didn't mean to offend anyone. but it is a subject that you can't ignore

Kaytee · 07-06-2007, 06:31 AM

Don't worry about offending anyone. It is a touchy subject, but most of the people on here that post are adults and act as such. We will give you are honest opinion. As of yet no subject has been closed due to innapropriate responces. Like name calling or what have you. I don't think anyone here thinks you are a bad mom. I also strongly believe that one parenting situation does not cause a person to be a bad mom. Of course abuse would be but smacking your child on the hand, though I feel is wrong, does not equate a bad parent. So don't feel threatened and feel welcomed to post more.
As of my experience, which is limited since my daughter is 18 months old, I have smacked her on the butt once, and vowed never to do it again. i was trying to put away dishes and she woul dno tstop climbing INTO the sishwasher. I kept taking her out and telling her no, well she kept doing it. What I should have done was picked her up taken her to the living room and redirected her play, instead I lost my patience and smacked her on her butt. Now I didn't hit her hard and all... but the look on her face after I did it ws enough that I vowed never to do it again. She was crushed, the one person in her life she trusts soley for love and protection just hurt her.
Now I have learned that works best for her now, is to tell her no pick her set her on the floor and tell her "don't hit mommy, don't climb on the table.." whatever and walk away. She melts to the ground and just cries for about 30 seconds, then she is up and playing again and usually stops doing whatever it is she was doing. Now this won't work when she is 10, but we will find something else that does, other then spanking

ok this is long but had to share one more thing. We were at a doctors office and these 3 little kids were rough housing a bit. They were young like 3, 5 and 6ish. htey were smacking each other on the butts and laughing. Then the mother started smacking them all on the butts and yelling, "I told you not to hit!!" yay that makes sense don't it?

Tom · 07-06-2007, 08:31 AM

I'm glad this thread came up. Oddly enough this is something I hadn't thought about yet! Thanks for the opinions and food for thought.

Kaytee · 07-06-2007, 11:04 AM

isn't that why we are here. Not many places in "real" life can you go around and be truly honest. You can here, well as long as you are polite in doing so.

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