Parents Forum

Lissa · 05-12-2008, 07:51 AM

How many children and teens have we seen in the media marching on the steps of the U.S. Capitol and to Congress to demand Age of Consent (AoC) laws be lowered, to assert their desire to have sex with adults, and to declare that their bodies are theirs and they should be able to have intimate (sexual) "relationships" with adults of their choosing? How many children and teens have held candlelight vigils, posted banners, or worn ribbons to show their support for pedophilia?

We don't see such things taking place. Children and teens are not clamoring for a change in the laws because they are frustrated by and tired of adults who oppose pedophilia and who object to giving pedophiles easy access to minor-age males and females.

What is happening, though, is, pedophiles have taken an in-your-face stance (when perceiving their identities are concealed), and they have a distorted reality, stating that adults who object to those who prey on children and teens are part of a widespread "child sex abuse industry," comprised of those who are "repressed." Pedophiles want the AoC laws changed ~ for their benefit and their self-serving interest: to see sexual acts with minors decriminalized.

They hide behind their cute, little screen names on the Net, thinking they have found safety in anonymity's embrace. They reject the opportunity to step up and speak out for themselves when not assured their identities will be protected. CBS "48 Hours," for example, offered both pedophiles and children's advocates the opportunity to relate where each side stands. Pedophiles, overwhelmingly, turned down the chance to articulate their position through such a mainstream venue. They sought control ~ of the sound bytes and editing while they claim to be against censorship. Prior restraint is what they were after, which amounts to nothing less than censorship.

Benefits of participating in the interview process that were pointed out by "48 Hours": Pedophiles would find a platform to explain to an audience about how much they care for children and, also, to fight for support to celebrate their brand of love. A twice-yearly pedophile love-fest is slated to commence December, and it's billed as International BoyLove Day (IBLD); a second time for annually denoting their fondness for children is June. A winter and a summer fest are what pedophiles see on the horizon.

Are the dates determined by the toss of a coin? chosen because they are seasonally significant to pedophiles? or selected because that is when parents may be most distracted and perhaps vulnerable to seemingly nice gestures made by those seeking to advance on children?

Parents throughout the world will be in the height of holiday preparations in December ~ shopping, getting ready for the arrival of family and friends, wrapping presents, and attending myriad functions and services. These points are not lost on pedophiles who are ever-seeking the means by which to have an increased presence in children's lives.

Pedophiles are actively engaged in discussions Online ~ through message boards, chat relay systems, and in newsgroups ~ on (for instance) how best to introduce their love day to the general population without offending sensible (rational and thinking) adults. Pedophiles will be lighting candles ~ gently, sensitively and without directly stating that they are pedophiles. Boy Lovers, Girl Lovers and Child Lovers have repeatedly described and defined themselves as pedophiles "oriented" to children sexually. Yet, gays and lesbians have rejected pedophilia as an orientation and have kicked pedophiles out of parades; gays and lesbians want no involvement with pedophilia and are hurt and insulted by pedophiles suggesting they (pedophiles) are part of the gay/lesbian community. Pedophilia is not an orientation; it is a lust-driven interest and sexual attraction to males and/or females whom the law states are below the AoC.

Lissa · 05-12-2008, 07:53 AM

Protecting children is much more than a two-day per year task; it extends beyond the annual December and June dates pedophiles slated for celebrating their love for children. It is a responsibility that ensues 365 days a year, though pedophiles seem to be targeting times when parents may be at an elevated level of vulnerability to someone who comes along and offers to do something nice ~ so parents can attend to making the holidays and summer vacations from school enjoyable times for their children.

The best way to challenge those who exploit children is by education: Not only for oneself yet also for others who care about children, which can erode the opportunities made available to predators as a result of helping additional parents. There are more parents looking to protect children than there are predators seeking to abuse. The most productive step: Help reach and teach parents.

Each person can inform parents, parent groups, schools, civic/community centers offering children and/or families access to the Internet, local libraries, and others of what you have found both positive and negative about accessing the Net (bulletin boards, E-mail, web pages, newsgroups, et cetera). There is an upside and a downside, and, unfortunately, it is the latter that is fostered by a minority of people abusing services.

Adults seeking better ways to protect children ~ from those who would abuse ~ are best advised to: Educate themselves and guide their child(ren) on what's available, and what is the appropriate response if someone unwanted/previously unknown intrudes into a child's space (E-mail, areas Online, Chat, message areas and so on). Encourage children to speak ~ with parents or their care-givers ~ about what they have found Online and with whom they may be exchanging information.

Offer input on the type of information that is okay and what should not be shared with others on the Net; people aren't always as they claim (cloaked in relative anonymity) and some lie and allege they are children.

It's not always possible for parents to be able to supervise directly ~ since schools and libraries have access also available. The next best step: Find out whether the settings that offer access provide continuous supervision, and accept accountability and responsibility for the child Online ~ the effects that may result, though the negatives may be slim.

If the settings cannot ensure children's safety, then parents can invoke authority (as parents) and provide access within the home where supervision and clear guidance are entirely possible: set up the computer in a central, not isolated, location. Determine guidelines and a mutual understanding with a child ~ discussed and established up-front. Also, remember: You can exercise your voice through your vote when bond or ballot measures arrive, and you may approve or decline subsidizing Internet access through public terminals ~ placed in libraries and in other settings that, for whatever the reason/rationale, do not filter or block sites that are inappropriate for individuals under the age of majority; the ACLU has its voice and so, too, do you through the empowerment of your direct vote cast when it counts. (And, it is not suggested that any filtering be systematic -- to block or flood with warnings about sites addressing issues with educational merit; filtering can be affected by the individual client's data entry, appropriate for the given household or setting, and user-end determined. For additional information and examples, please visit: Peacefire.)

You also have the option to accompany your child(ren) to a setting that provides access so that you may offer supervision. (Schools and libraries are not baby-sitters for generations of children ~ who have become known as "latch-key" children.)

Suggest that parents creating or helping design Net pages for their children limit the amount of personal data posted. There is way too much information about individual children being offered by parents; it may be cute to the parents, but grist for predators on a hunt and holding out tease-sheets (initially comprised of non-sexualized images) to elicit and start a virtual swap. It is not cute to people working to protect children when parents have posted a child's name, age, photo, school location, teacher's name, fun-time activities, pictures of children's friends, and an E-mail address that routes direct to the IP used by the parent and/or child for dial-up.

You probably get the picture: With that much information, a location can be pinned, and it wouldn't take much to find the child. Children aren't abducted by space aliens, don't run-away from home to meet up with the space aliens encountered Online, and don't end up exploited ~ emotionally, physically, or sexually ~ by space aliens.

It starts somewhere, and it usually starts by a predator picking up a weakness in a child who may feel alone, isolated, lonely, or misunderstood. Parents need to seal-off the opportunity predators seek by: Clear, consistent, and continual interaction and involvement in children's lives. A child who feels as if he or she has a sense of belonging and is able to speak freely with his or her parent(s) is less apt to be the child a predator may scope and seek to either play-off a weakness or seek to drive a deeper wedge in a relationship between child and parent that may have pre-existing vulnerabilities. The same applies in Real-Time. (If an adult is self-consumed by his/her own dysfunctions, self-absorbed in unresolved conflicts, emotionally detatched, has a pattern of avoiding instead of addressing, or has not healed from abuses in one's past, a child will intuitively know that that parent may not be available to honest communication about difficulties encountered. Face yourself candidly before attempting to face a child with his or her truths.)

There are numerous law enforcement sites Online, including the FBI's website, that freely offer information to parents and additional adults wanting to better ensure children's safety. It is well worth the time for people to spend a few days reading the information ~ on a variety of sites ~ to have a comprehensive understanding of how to increase children's protection.

There are ways to increase children's safety while they're using a computer: Some parents, including some officers, make access possible only via CD ROM programs; it gives the child the opportunity to learn about computers, and safety is 100 percent. Others choose filtering software: The best is the application that enables the parent to input the type of data sought to be blocked rather than a company determining for a family, which may have differing beliefs and values. And, still, more: Use the computer with their children.

Take whatever information you find helpful and, then, share it with others who also have children (and this means, relate your thoughts in your own words, not copy text from this page and/or other pages to present as your own). Focus could be most effective if directed and applied toward a positive (parents) rather than on addressing the negative (predators).

Lissa · 05-12-2008, 07:54 AM

Taken from Children's Protection Campaign

Lissa · 05-12-2008, 07:57 AM

Any parent that does not worry about pedophiles should take a thorough look at this website and all of the links therein. Pretty disturbing stuff.

Free Spirits

Lissa · 05-12-2008, 08:00 AM

http://www.boylinks.net/

BoyChat - a boylove message board

FooserX · 05-12-2008, 08:06 AM

Thanks for the info, Yules!

Lissa · 05-12-2008, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FooserX

Thanks for the info, Yules!

Lissa · 05-12-2008, 09:35 AM

Pedophile Characteristics

A pedophile will usually exhibit a series of personality characteristics that are common in this type of offender. It is important to understand that these characteristics alone do not conclusively determine that a person is a pedophile. But if these indicators, combined with a pattern of behavior that arouses suspicion, are present then there may be enough probable cause to believe that the person is a pedophile.

1. He carries on what can be termed “a special relationship” with a wife. Often pedophiles have failed marriages due to their sexual interests but remain in the marriage to mask their true intentions. Sadly, the wife sometimes knows about her husband’s preference, but prefers to keep quiet to avoid social stigma and disgrace.

2. He displays a fascination or unusual interest in children. If an adult has an inordinate amount of interest in pre-pubescent children, it doesn’t confirm he is a pedophile, but it should at least arouse suspicion.

3. He has hobbies or interests that commonly belong in the realm of a child’s world such as toy collecting, building models of cars or planes. His home or room is decorated in a child’s theme. And often, that theme will reflect the age bracket of his preferred victim.

4. He is over 30 years of age, single and has few or no friends his own age. He may also have frequent and unexplained changes of residence. He may be unable or unwilling to discuss why he lost his last job. He may have a military discharge that he cannot explain and a past that he can not easily talk about.

5. He has systematic and prolonged access to children. Pedophiles, because of the wide age disparity between themselves and their victims, cannot just hang around children. The pedophile has to find a way to legitimize his contact with kids. He usually accomplishes this by obtaining employment in a field where he is forced to deal with children on a daily basis. Jobs like schoolteachers, bus drivers, camp counselors, photographers and sports coaching(14) serve their needs perfectly. They will always volunteer for activities in which they are left alone with children with no parental supervision (Lanning, p. 19).

Pedophiles are also very adept at locating troubled or withdrawn children. This is a skill they have acquired through years of trial and error. They have come to identify what usually works and what usually doesn’t. The most common technique used by pedophiles to obtain sex from children is the seduction method. This process is very similar to the classic boy/girl courtship. Though the child might be under 10-years-old, the pedophile will lavish gifts upon the target, take him or her to amusement parks, museums, restaurants and other places of interest. This author recalls a case in which a pedophile attempted to seduce a child who had an interest in music. The suspect escorted the boy to expensive Broadway plays like Phantom of the Opera and Miss Saigon. Afterwards, they ate in fashionable Manhattan cafes and went sightseeing. The child was just 8- years-old. In another recent case, reported by the New York Times (February 2, 2000), a Bronx man lured neighborhood children to his apartment with Pokemon cards and Chinese food. He then abused a number of children after giving them marijuana and screening pornographic videos. The abused children later got together and attempted to set fire to the suspect’s apartment.

If the target is a troubled child, the pedophile will comfort and sympathize with him or her. Often, over a period of time, the child will develop feelings for the offender even though he is being actively abused. The dynamics at work in this type of situation are well known to psychologists. This process of sympathizing with the offender has been called Stockholm Syndrome. It was first recognized in 1973 after a notorious bank robbery in Sweden in which the hostages taken by the suspects began to develop feelings of attachment toward their captors(15). Children who are sexually victimized can feel the same way. This is often the case when the offender happens to be a member of the clergy or another traditional figure of trust. In early 2002, an elementary school bus driver pleaded guilty in Westchester County Court, New York, to abusing 9-year-old children on his bus during the trip home each day. The abuse may have gone on for as long as 15 years with a succession of students. In cases such as this, the events will not be reported because of the emotional attachment between offender and victim. Remember that pedophiles are masters in the manipulation of children. However, as the victim matures into adulthood, these benevolent feelings toward the abuser often dissipate and the painful truth of the abuse sets in.

In February and March 2002, there were dozens of such cases involving adult men who were sexually molested as children by Catholic priests. These sexual assaults, some of which occurred decades before, are sad testimony to the compulsions of some pedophiles who will molest children for their entire lives until the day they are caught. These revelations, and the startling accusations of systematic cover-up by church officials, have shaken the Catholic Church to its core. New York’s Cardinal Edward Egan received a firestorm of criticism from the public when it was revealed he treated sexual molestation charges against priests with questionable tactics toward the victims in Bridgeport, Connecticut.

musicmom · 05-12-2008, 09:47 AM

*having post tramatic stress disorder*

Lissa · 05-12-2008, 09:48 AM

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