Antoinette

okay i know that this is not a naming forum but i couldn't find anywhere else this fit.

i am coming up on 8 months pregnant, and i also have a 14 month old son, my son's name is Felix Xavier Alexander Jalloh (pr Ja lah ow)

we decided to name my daughter
Alegra Esme Skye Jalloh

but most of the naming of Alegra was my Ex's idea and he left me claiming it was to hard about a month ago. his last name is Jalloh, mine is Tassaud. should i give Alegra Jalloh or Tassaud? also Esme is a family name on his side and i don't mind it but it makes me think of that book Twilight so i was always cautious..

should i keep the name as is? like we decided? or should i change it now he has decided to leave? i don't know what to do and its so close to the due date i need to know now...

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never fully understand the wonders of life until you are a mother

singledad

Ok, I have a question - will daddy still be part of her life? Or, when he moved out, did he walk out of all your lives forever? You don't have to answer here if you don't want to, but I think it will be an important to consider when making your decision.

If he will still be actively involved as her dad, than he still deserves to have a say in her name. He may not be your partner anymore, but he will still be her dad.

If he walked out completely, and won't be involved in their lives, then he has forfeited the right to have his daughter carry his name, IMO. No child should have to go through life with the name of the man who couldn't be bothered to be her dad.

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Antoinette

well right now he says he does not want to be involved in her life or Felix's life. he has seen Felix twice since he moved out and that was almost a month ago and both times were in the first few weeks when he was coming around to get his stuff.. i need to have faith that he will come around and do the right thing though for his children's sake. when all of this cools down i want to think that he will remember the love he has for Felix and the love he will have for Alegra. maybe i should keep the names for if he changed his mind right??

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never fully understand the wonders of life until you are a mother

mom2many

I would give her his last name, your oldest has it and it will be nice for them to both have the same last name.

As for her first and middle names, that really should be up to you, if there is a portion of the name you really don't like, change it, you can add a touch of what you want while still giving him a little say.

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Jeremy+3

Children should have their fathers last name.

IADad

Even though my initial reaction is to think "well screw you" to your ex for just walking out (I can't imagine leaving my children with the intention of not being a part of their lives...but alas, I editorialize too much) but for the reasons stated above (not just the tradition) I think she should probably have his last name.

BTW, I'm not sure where the ex came up with Alegra, but I can't help but think of the allegry medication I used to take (allegra) when I read it. Not saying it's bad or that you should do anything different, just telling you that's the first thing i think of.

Xero

That's funny IADad, that's the first thing I thought of as well I'm like "Wow, I take a medication for my allergies called Allegra, but its a pretty name too" lol. Random!

But anyway, I think my opinion is that (as closed-minded and traditional as this may sound) children should have their father's last name. And I imagine he wont dissappear altogether, hopefully. And like someone else said, that way your kids will both have the same last name. At least it will advertise that whether he is around or not, your kids did in fact both come from the same father (cause people at their schools etc will not neccessarily know your last name). So that's what I would do there.

However, I think that's the ONLY part of her name he should have anything to do with. If he doesn't want to stick around and be a father, then he doesn't get to decide what her name will be. I think as for the rest of it, you should name her whatever you want. If you don't like Esme, change it. If he doesn't like you changing it - boo hoo, he should have thought about that when he decided the single life would be more rewarding. You're the one that's going to have to do all of the hard work to raise this girl, there is nothing at all wrong with naming her what you want.

I also wanted to say that I LOVE the name Felix, very very cute!!!

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xox.ilu.xox

I totally and absolutely agree with Xero!!! She should have her fathers last name (even tho IMHO hes an @$$ for leaving you with two children!!!!! xox) and if you dont like the first and middle name that he picked id say change it! If you need some ideas i have lots! hehe. We had a HUGE list of girls names before hay was born. (Madysonn, Danielle, Caroline, etc etc).

Im so sorry you've had to go through this junk just before the birth of your daughter, and I hope it all works well for you! Please keep us posted!

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16th ave.

yeah, i agree. do his last name so both kiddos have the same one. also the last name and any name can be changed later on for whatever reason.

in my own experience:
my sister gave her oldest son her last name since his daddy would not be around and had denied the child anyway (her first kiddo). she gave the other two kids their dad's name (her son's step-father's) and never had much--if any--trouble over the different names. so it worked out fine. her son was eventually adopted by his step-dad and (i think but not sure) he changed his name after the adoption papers were signed even though the name didn't have to be changed. that worked out pretty well for her.
my own girls have their daddy's last name and mine. he wanted them to have his but i wanted to make sure there were no problems if we ever split up or something happened to one of us or whatever (the whatever is hard too hard to explain, ya had to be here when it all happened.) so my girls have 5 names: E.A.L. R-G and C.A.L. R-G. long names but different and not somehting you see very often except mostly in families with alot of traditions carried down.

i hope your road isn't too hard to travel. feel free to stop by here and offer any advice ya have and give any and chatter with everyone.

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