Parents Forum

TAR · 07-09-2007, 03:06 PM

I have been pregnant 4 times. I got pregnant with my first baby in 1998 when I was very young an I tragicly lost my angel Cherish at 19 weeks pregnant. Since that time I had 2 daughters who are now 4 and almost 2 (21 months to be exact). I got pregnant very soon after i had my 21 month old but I lost that baby (they believe because I got pregnant too soon after a c-section) We met my stepson last september he was 5 years old at the time. All my pregnancy's have been from the same man. After I lost Cherish in December of 1998 we decided to split and saw other people for about almost 2 years, That is when he got one of his girlfriends who he was only with for about a month pregnant and she took off and that is how I ended up with a suprise stepson and my boyfriend ended up with a surprize son.

Well, none of my pregnancy's have been planned (funny the surprize stepson wasn't either). I enjoyed that I got pregnant with my 21 month old Daughter right before her sisters 2nd birthday, She took part in my pregnancy she was able to understand what was going on and when I went to have her sister she knew exactly what was going on, I liked that. Well, I hope when I decide to have another that my now baby girl will understand. So I think it is about time we start to plan for a new addition.

Plus I don't want to have my baby on any of my other childrens birthday's (which are March 29, October 13, and May 8) I also don't want to give birth around Dec 19 (that is Cherish's day). And around Feb. 16 that is when I had my miscarriage. And I want my baby girl now to understand that mommy's having a baby. (It's crossing my mind now also because I don't want my children too far apart in age - thats what works for me).

Ok anyone who stuck in there and read all that craziness, now comes my worries. I worry about when is the right time... Planning is much harder than just letting it happen. For my children I just basicly made it the right time. For everyone who planned their additions when did you know it was time expecially if you already had children? What did you take into consideration for it to be the right time?

I guess I'm just looking for other parents who had worries bout planning, I feel a little alone on this, people don't usually walk around saying oh my children weren't planned and I just did what had to be done. And the same with planned pregnancy's most of the time people don't say we knew it was the right time because....... I want another baby at least one more but the whole planning thing has got me going crazy!!!

tater03 · 07-09-2007, 04:42 PM

All I can really say is that when my oldest was almost two we decided to try for our second child. I thought that if I started trying it would take a couple of months before I got pregnant. Well I decided to start trying that very night we finally made the decision and I got pregnant that very night. So I guess what I am saying is if you are into planning it be prepared that it might not always work out as planned. I never dreamed that I would get pregnant that very night. Good luck to you.

Kaytee · 07-09-2007, 06:21 PM

Well mine was not planned, but I hope to plan the next. lol hope to God!!!! Anyways, there is never a prefect time to plan for a child, so I say just get rid of the BC and go for it!

TAR · 07-10-2007, 12:38 PM

That is a good idea.... I do have an merina (like an IUD) so I do have to plan to take that out.... LOL... I thought I would plan Rayna but no then I got pregnant and had a miscarriage not to long after she was born (I was due a week before her 1st birthday, and I was ok with that) then I got a stepson a month before Rayna's 1st birthday.... I guess life work this way for me... By the grace of God.... Thank you so much Kaytee... It's like you grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me and said " STOP BEING CRAZY.... PLANNING AIN'T FOR YOU!!!".....

Kaytee · 07-10-2007, 09:18 PM

lol no prob, just get some baby making under way!!

Anna78 · 07-11-2007, 09:57 AM

All my pregnancies were unplanned, but I liked it that way. DH and I are TTC our first child together. However, like Kaytee said, we've just stopped using BC and are hoping for the best. When the time is right, it will happen!

TAR · 07-17-2007, 01:27 PM

Well, good luck Anna... I'm just always so nervous when it come to thinking of a new baby... I guess I'm a worry wart in that part of my life.... I know when it happens it's such a blessing it is always the right time, it's just ya know you want it to be a good experince for your children too, having a new sister or brother should be a blessing for them also (I've known some siblings to not like it so much). I was lucky that my daughter enjoyed getting her sister and then when we met our stepson he fit in fine too.... I just want it to continue that way, but you can't control how it's going to turn out... That's my problem I'm a control freak...LOL (just kidding)

Oh and I haven't gotten the BC out yet!!!! Soon...

Kaytee · 07-17-2007, 03:07 PM

well hurry up!! lol j/k. I agree with wanting it to be a blessing for the other children as well. That is one of the main reasons I am waiting till Nichole is almost 3 before having another. I want her to experience it as well

TAR · 07-17-2007, 03:34 PM

Ya, it is great when the older sibling is able to be involved... As I had said I found out I was pregnant with Rayna a week before Ariana's 2nd birthday... I was nervous but Ariana understood from the moment we told her she was going to have a sister or brother (turned out sis but I don't like to find out when i'm pregnant). So she was there for every visit and listened to the heartbeat and also played along and said she had a baby inside LOL the doctor would put the monitor on her belly also it was fun and exciting... Rayna isn't quite ready for that yet so that is why the BC is still in.... Soon though, very soon....
So Kaytee I think your choice to wait till Nichole is 3 is a good one, You'll have so much fun...

Kaytee · 07-17-2007, 04:32 PM

I hope so at least!!

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