Parents Forum

Skyburning · 03-30-2008, 08:36 PM

I practice most aspects of attachment parenting. (I don't cloth diaper

) I get a lot of negative feedback for it that I just don't understand.

The biggest issues I am dealing with right now are CIO and nursing. My stepmother just does not understand. When I pick up and comfort Nolan when he cries she says I will spoil him. I personally do NOT believe that you can spoil a 2 month old. I co-sleep and she says that's spoiling him too. I call it comforting him. Why do people expect babies to come out of a cozy womb and go straight into a much less cozy crib, no matter what. Some babies take to it but mine didn't, big deal.

The other thing she is giving me so much crap about is his nursing. Right now Nolan is still nursing every two hours, although sometimes he will go longer. I feed on demand and I am not concerned about him eating so often. If he were old enough to articulate his hunger she wouldn't expect me to make him wait, so why make him wait now? She is saying that I need to start giving him cereal to keep him full. She starting giving my little brother cereal added to his bottle at 3 weeks and as a result he stayed overstuffed as an infant and has no impulse control when it comes to eating and is an overweight 10 year old. I told her I would not overstuff my newborn just to make him complacent. She told me I needed to ask the doctor about it and asked me if the doctor told me to give him cereal or supplement formula would I do it, and I said no. Then she started yelling at me about how I needed to listen to whatever the Pediatrician told me without question and I told her no one knows my baby better than I do and that before I did either of those things I'd wait until his next appointment to better see how he is gaining weight.

It makes me really upset when people act like my stepmom about it, saying I'm spoiling my baby or not feeding them enough, etc. I read something that said "AP is following your heart" and to me that is the best way to explain it. It hurts me to sit there and listen to Nolan cry and the only thing I know to do is comfort him. I don't know how people let their babies CIO, or make them wait to eat just so they will eat a certain amount of hours apart.

How do you feel about AP?

Amber · 03-30-2008, 08:39 PM

I believe you can't spoil a child that young. In fact, I think it could be detrimental not to "spoil" them a tad when they're just newborn.

Teresa · 03-31-2008, 03:44 AM

All three of my children co-slept, nursed on demand, and were picked up as soon as they whimpered, or even sooner. None of them turned into spoiled toddlers, children or teens. Do what works for you and your child, and don't let remarks from others deter you.

Kaytee · 03-31-2008, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skyburning

I practice most aspects of attachment parenting. (I don't cloth diaper

) I get a lot of negative feedback for it that I just don't understand.

The biggest issues I am dealing with right now are CIO and nursing. My stepmother just does not understand. When I pick up and comfort Nolan when he cries she says I will spoil him. I personally do NOT believe that you can spoil a 2 month old. I co-sleep and she says that's spoiling him too. I call it comforting him. Why do people expect babies to come out of a cozy womb and go straight into a much less cozy crib, no matter what. Some babies take to it but mine didn't, big deal.

The other thing she is giving me so much crap about is his nursing. Right now Nolan is still nursing every two hours, although sometimes he will go longer. I feed on demand and I am not concerned about him eating so often. If he were old enough to articulate his hunger she wouldn't expect me to make him wait, so why make him wait now? She is saying that I need to start giving him cereal to keep him full. She starting giving my little brother cereal added to his bottle at 3 weeks and as a result he stayed overstuffed as an infant and has no impulse control when it comes to eating and is an overweight 10 year old. I told her I would not overstuff my newborn just to make him complacent. She told me I needed to ask the doctor about it and asked me if the doctor told me to give him cereal or supplement formula would I do it, and I said no. Then she started yelling at me about how I needed to listen to whatever the Pediatrician told me without question and I told her no one knows my baby better than I do and that before I did either of those things I'd wait until his next appointment to better see how he is gaining weight.

It makes me really upset when people act like my stepmom about it, saying I'm spoiling my baby or not feeding them enough, etc. I read something that said "AP is following your heart" and to me that is the best way to explain it. It hurts me to sit there and listen to Nolan cry and the only thing I know to do is comfort him. I don't know how people let their babies CIO, or make them wait to eat just so they will eat a certain amount of hours apart.

How do you feel about AP?

Nursing ever 2 hours He's 2 months old, you are lucky is not nursing for 2 hours!!!! You are parenting how you feel it is appropriate. You cannot spoil a 2 month old, you can show themlove and caring and that mommy will be there for them when they need you.
The only thing I can say about co-sleeping if you are comfortable with it and baby is happy... so be it

musicmom · 03-31-2008, 07:40 AM

I think my come back would be "well, I guess it's good he's not your child then huh?" No one should have any say over how you choose to raise your child. EVER.
If anyone said anything to me it fell on deaf ears. If they wanted to see my children then they knew to be quiet or they wouldn't have that priveledge.
I held my children every chance I got, I couldn't wait for them to wake up. I hug and kiss on them to this day! I have wonderful children and I know it's because I was close to them. I think a parent should be a security to a child.
Tell her to go pack sand and have her own kid

Lissa · 03-31-2008, 07:45 AM

Keep in mind that you have the new mother instincts here, your stepmother does not. Also she is from a totally different parenting generation. Things were A LOT different back when we were babies. My mother was kind of the same way. She never nursed and she let us cry it out at a very young age. She gave us cereal at 1 month and always put us to sleep on our bellies. I took her advice on somethings, but on others I didn't because it didn't seem to feel right. You do what YOU feel is right.

Amber · 03-31-2008, 09:38 AM

I agree with all the above.

And what your stepmother fails to realize is that not all children are the same. What may have worked with her children may not necessarily work with yours.

Lissa · 03-31-2008, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skyburning

I practice most aspects of attachment parenting. (I don't cloth diaper

) I get a lot of negative feedback for it that I just don't understand.

I tried cloth diapers. In fact, I spent $700 on some very fancy ones while I was pregnant. I had very good intentions of using them. But when Oliver came, I couldn't do it. It was just too much laundry.

Skyburning · 03-31-2008, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lissa

I tried cloth diapers. In fact, I spent $700 on some very fancy ones while I was pregnant. I had very good intentions of using them. But when Oliver came, I couldn't do it. It was just too much laundry.

For that reason I didn't even try. I rent so I have to use a laundry mat and it would have been too much.

1dayatatime · 03-31-2008, 11:13 AM

Smile. Nod your head. Then do what you feel is right and ignore the other suggestions. I didn't let my son CIO the slightest bit till he was about 6-8 months old.

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