Rob

I need your help. I've been subject to some ridicule from my wife and her friends (also mothers) due to the way I recently handled a situation. I may have to eat some crow based on your feedback and that's fine but I cannot even fathom that I handled this situation incorrectly. I'll also tell you up front that regardless of the feedback I would never in a million years handle the situation any different if it came up again.

My 5 year old son and I had planned a backyard "campout". We sleep in our sleeping bags, in our tent, watch movies on a portable DVD player, eat junk food and make it a special "guys' night.

We also have a just turned 2 year old daughter. The night of our "campout" my wife wanted to visit a friends house to hang out. That's fine. I would put our 2 year old to bed and my son and I would head outside. I locked all the doors (except for the back door very close to our tent ), and had a baby monitor in our daughter's room and one in the tent so i could hear if she needed anything. All's well.

About 10 pm my son fell fast asleep and I contined watching movies. About 11:30 , feeling sleepy I called the friends house to see if my wife would be coming home soon as I was not comfortable falling asleep outside with an unlocked door and unattended baby. God forbid there was a fire or someone entered the back door while I was sleeping outside. When I called I was told my wife and some of the girls had decided to go out. At this point I called her girlfriends cell phone(my wife's was broken) to see what was up. Couldn't reach them. We stayed in the tent till about 12 when i could no longer stay awake. I carried my sleeping son to his bed. I would not be comfortable, couldn't even consider sleeping outside with my daughter in the house alone. Our "campout" was done( over my son's protests as he woke up on the way inside and realized what was going on).
Now I don't mind telling you that when my wife strolled in at 3am I was livid (I couldn't sleep at this point )for a couple of reasons:

1. she knew this was a special planned night for my son and I ...he talked about it for 2 weeks
2. I have no idea what married mothers could possibly be doing til 3am . My experience has been that nothing good happens in those 12 -3 hours.

Bottom line is this. There is no way I would even consider sleeping outside with a 2 year old in the house alone. My wife and her friends tell me I overreacted in a big way....that my daughter was fine. I will never buy that story. What if there was a fire, an intruder or some other situation.It's one thing being outside while they are napping...it's another thing being asleep, outside for the night. I think it was a selfish, inconsiderate act to decide to go out and leave us hanging causing us to cancel our "campout" ( let alone be out til 3am ) . They tell me that her going out should have had no bearing on me continuing to sleep outside because my daughter was fine and I'm nuts.

You decide!

meow_173

Wow. Well firstly she shouldn't have gone to "hang out" on your sons special camp out in the backyard night. Because hanging out almost always ends up in "going out". If anything, she should have called to let you know that they were going to go out.
I would have been pissed too

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FooserX

I agree with you, Dad.

You had to cancel your camp out, because your wife stayed out till 3am.

Was it decided beforehand that she would have come home early?

I think you did the right thing, and have every right to be annoyed.

Sounds like mom was just being selfish in staying out that late, or just genuinely forgot about your camp out plans. If that's the case, no need to be mad, it's a mistake. :-)

absorbed

I also agree, mom didn't make a good choice. But on the other hand... couldn't you of brought your daughter out to the tent also?

Chavez

Heck I would even feel bad just leaving the 2 year old inside for a little bit on her own!

mmynedshlp

No he shouldnt have needed to take his daughter out to the tent. this was his sons bonding time his special time alone with his own attetnion he needs as to not be jelous of his sister.

No your wife should of made plans for another night. What she did was totally selfish. though she does need time out too but not during a time you have already made plans.

You did the right the thing witht he kids but in all honesty its ok for you to be mad just know you could of made her feel more guilty by telling her how upset your son was that his night was ruined and how worried you were that you could not reach her if there was ever an emergency. ( if she wouldnt of felt guilty then your family needs therapy because there would be more issues than this that is not all let out)

So I do hope you do make special time for her to have time to herself with her friends too.
I kind of feel that there may be more communication issues than what is said here.

Amber

She had already been put to sleep and was in bed and he had a baby monitor with him. Nothing to feel bad about. I leave my 3 year old alone in the house every single day to walk down my drive and across the street to check the mail. Doesn't make me a bad mother and it doesn't make Rob a bad father for leaving his daughter to sleep instead of waking her up and bringing her along on a special PLANNED father/son bonding event.

Rob, I would have done the same thing. And I would have been livid had my husband walked in at 3 am after knowing my son and I had planned and looked forward to this for 2 weeks now.

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Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail

Chavez

I wouldn't even leave my daughter alone just to go downstairs to collect the mail from the boxes or to take the trash down without her.
Because it's just in the blink of an eye that your child can go missing. And you'd always regret and wish you hadn't left them [even for a split second], had someone abducted him/her.
I am very aware, the only time I have left my daughter alone is when she was asleep and I had to collect clothes from the laundry room. I locked the door behind me and kept listening to make sure.
I don't think I was being over cautious and I don't think Rob was being over cautious by going back in and not leaving her alone for the night.
You're child should NEVER be left unattended

mmynedshlp

So uhm...... whats your thoughts on the wife? ( just wonderin)

Amber

Nobody said to leave the poor girl alone all night and to continue on with his special camping trip with his son. There is a huge difference in being cautious and being overprotective. What Rob did was being cautious. Not leaving the kids alone to go check the mail is overprotectiveness. So, you'll leave your child alone to go collect the laundy (which will take at least 2 minutes to go down, gather up and haul up, longer if you fold it) but you won't go right down to grab the mail, which might take a whole, what, 5 seconds?

I live in a very secluded area. I know my neighbors. There is one way in my property, and it's the way I am walking towards my mailbox. I'm sure I'd catch a kidnapper on the way down.

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Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail