Parents Forum

fallon · 10-09-2007, 05:53 PM

that's usually how it works here too but tonight, DD was acting up...actually she lied to me, so she wasn't allowed to play outside. When she asked if she could play on the computer dad told her "no". I think one punishment is enough but I backed him because I don't want her to think she can ever play us against eachother. I feel so bad because I think he was wrong to do that. Although he is out shopping with her right now so all is good with them but I'm still feeling a bit bitter

Kaytee · 10-09-2007, 06:03 PM

yay. It depends on if you have tried punishing her first and it didn't work so he wanted to add another on top but... Either way when it comes to discipline you guys have to discuss first what the WHOLE punishment will be. Good tip to remember though, we still only have 30 second time outs so not much long term going on

fallon · 10-09-2007, 06:17 PM

I let him know how I felt about it and he agreed, I think he felt bad and that's why he took her with him to the store. He tends to treat her like a much older child because most of the time that's how she acts, once in a while when she is actually acting 4 he doesn't really know how to get down to a 4 yr old level

Teresa · 10-10-2007, 03:57 AM

In our house, since I'm the bio parent, I get the final say. He doesn't have to agree, just back me up.

fallon · 10-10-2007, 05:51 AM

since my dd is so young I personally choice not to over ride him just because he isn't her "real" father. I think it makes it harder when I don't agree with him I always think to myself "I'm her mother" but I don't say it because I know he is just trying to take his rightful place as the only father she will have

FooserX · 10-10-2007, 07:25 AM

>>>since I'm the bio parent, I get the final say.

I don't know your situation....but if my wife ever pulled that line out of her butt, it would take all of 1 day for me to get divorce papers ready. :P

We had a long talk before marraige that if I'm going to take over the dad role (he was 2 at the time), then I'm the dad and I get full rights to be the dad.

That's almost like me having the final say on selecting what new car or house we buy because I bring home more money than my wife.

fallon · 10-10-2007, 07:26 AM

I agree fooser, I think if I told him that he'd leave me for sure...and take my new Jeep with him

Kaytee · 10-10-2007, 08:10 AM

I doubt she meant it in a malicious way. (of course I could be wrong). I mean in my house my way is the way it usually is. Not because his say doesn't matter but because I am the one with her all day every day, and he is the bio dad.
I think it depends on how the house is ran.

Teresa · 10-10-2007, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fallon

since my dd is so young I personally choice not to over ride him just because he isn't her "real" father. I think it makes it harder when I don't agree with him I always think to myself "I'm her mother" but I don't say it because I know he is just trying to take his rightful place as the only father she will have

Oh, I don't override DH in things.....we discuss things before we set a consequence, unless it's a matter of a rule that has been in place for a long time, and the consequence for breaking it is well known to everyone. We don't just give out consequences off the cuff...we discuss them, we make them fit the misbehavior, etc.

fallon · 10-10-2007, 08:26 AM

Oh I don't think she was being malicious at all. Mainly I handle everything that that involves the kids...because like you I'm the one that's here all the time, but if I actually said that to him he'd be pretty hurt ya know.

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