Ari2

What do you think of this and "purity pledges"?

From the NY Times: Dancing the Night Away, with a Higher Purpose

In their floor-length gowns, up-dos and tiaras, the 70 or so young women swept past two harpists and into a gilt-and-brocade dining room at the lavish Broadmoor Hotel, on the arms of their much older male companions.

The girls, ages early grade school to college, had come with their fathers, stepfathers and future fathers-in-law last Friday night to the ninth annual Father-Daughter Purity Ball. The first two hours of the gala passed like any somewhat awkward night out with parents, the men doing nearly all the talking and the girls struggling to cut their chicken.

But after dessert, the 63 men stood and read aloud a covenant “before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity.”

The gesture signaled that the fathers would guard their daughters from what evangelicals consider a profoundly corrosive “hook-up culture.” The evening, which alternated between homemade Christian rituals and giddy dancing, was a joyous public affirmation of the girls’ sexual abstinence until they wed.
...
Recent studies have suggested that close relationships between fathers and daughters can reduce the risk of early sexual activity among girls and teenage pregnancy. But studies have also shown that most teenagers who say they will remain abstinent, like those at the ball, end up having sex before marriage, and they are far less likely to use condoms than their peers.
...
In a ballroom after dinner, bare but for a seven-foot wooden cross at one end, the fathers and daughters gathered along the walls. Kevin Moore, there with his three girls, told the men they were taking a stand for their families and their nation. Then he and Mr. Wilson walked to the cross with two large swords, which they held up before it to make an arch.


Each father and his daughter walked under the arch and knelt before the cross. Synthesized hymns played. The fathers sometimes held their daughters and whispered a short prayer, and then the girls each placed a white rose, representing purity, at the foot of the cross. Mr. Lee and Rachel walked away holding hands.


The girls, many wearing purity rings, made silent vows.

HappyMomma

If the family subscribes to the same religious beliefs and it works - great.

I have to say though, it reminds me of the 'ear sex' episode of Family Guy.

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Kaytee

I don't know that epidsode!

I think its great if your family is religious and practice religion together. THe whole "a family that prays together stays together thing" then I think its beautiful

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Ari2

The whole things weirds me out. I've read other articles about it, and it just seems off to me. The picture of girls getting "purity rings" from their dads, the dads swearing to protect the girls' "purity", and then the prom-like situation between father and daughter.....

I do get what they are trying to do and of course applaud any parent who (as he or she should) takes an active role in guiding their kids' decisions. I'm not entirely certain what makes me uncomfortable about it. I know I would be equally weirded out by a mother-daughter "purity" tea in with oaths and rings and ceremonies.

But I wonder if I'm in the minority. I'm not religious. Maybe if I were this would seem less odd.

I also don't think chastity oaths work, as stated in the article. But it is more the weird vibe it gives me that gives me pause.

musicmom

Music-dad

LMAO

jtee

The whole idea of a purity pledge doesn't set well with me personally because it is setting very high expectations on girls at a young age. It is not like these girls have a option, nor are they old enough to really understand what the adults are expecting of them.

A couple of years ago a guy I worked with had a father-daughter (13-14) talk about sex, and he suggested to her she wait until she was older before she started having sex. She wasn't having sex or evening considering it, but she was was going to be starting High School and was already one favorites among the older boys. He had the talk with his daughter because when he was 16 he dated a 14 year old and they had a lot of sex. As a father, he knew what the downside was if his daughter would become sexually active at a young age. He wasn't asking for a purity pledge nor did he tell her not to have sex, he simply wanted to help her avoid some of the problems that do occur when girls start having sex when they are too young to really handle it.

Teresa

I think they're a great symbolic thing...but I also think that it's more important that the girls make that pledge to THEMSELVES than to their fathers. And what about the sons....aren't they held to any sort of purity standard, and don't they have any symbol of it...perhaps a pledge between them and Mom?

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fallon

I agree with you Teresa

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Kaytee

I agree with teresa. The main reason that it can work is not because of the pledge or the ball, its because a father is standing up and not being quiet and letting his wife handle the sex issue with his daughter. He is standing up and saying "I know sex sounds appealing but I believe it is important to remain abstinet at such a young and impressionable age." Girls are less likely to be having sex when the father is showing this type of attitude

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