Parents Forum

ntbuddy · 04-27-2008, 11:45 AM

There are other reasons for sure. They're always are. I was told by a friend that only you can make yourself happy. I just have tried and tried and can no longer deal with it. It's not giving up but rather doing the right thing for my kids as that's really the only thing that matters. Our staying together for them and them alone just seems to be the wrong reason.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ljmahr

I believe a child needs both parents. Not necessarily in the same home. If you both are miserable than no you shouldn't be together. I grew up in a home that my parents stayed together just for us kids. The summer after I graduated high school they split. It's not a happy time for anyone. Like MM I do not see this as a major problem (one that justifies walking away). Maybe there are other reason's for your problems?

ntbuddy · 04-27-2008, 12:21 PM

I just want to reiterate that I do love her but living in this type of life style for me just isn't me. You marry someone and they present one picture of themselves and once you're married it changes. I know that's part of life and waiting seven years for someone to continually state they're changing and not doing so is hard for anyone to accept. If I were to reverse it and I continually drank, not be violent, just drink and was a drunk and wasted the families money and took away from the children would that be right? I would think not and as such I would have to end it if it was reversed. I know that I will always love her like no other just that I'm at an empass that I just can't see no way out of.

ljmahr · 04-27-2008, 01:32 PM

Maybe try going to a counselor. If afterwards you still feel the same maybe it would be better to separate. Staying together just for your kids is not going to make the situation better, just miserable for everyone.

budnkota · 04-27-2008, 02:03 PM

If it's overflowing the yard and really bad, she may have a complusion disorder. I'd see about seeking treatment before doing anything else.
That said, I beleive that staying together for the sake of the children is generally a mistake. I tried that, and kick myself everytime I think about it. It was the most damaging experience in my son's life.

ntbuddy · 04-27-2008, 06:17 PM

Well, a lot has transpired. All good (I guess). We had a long talk today and agreed that although we both love each other that staying together is bad for the children. We agree we're best friends and there is no "love" from the standpoint of a husband/wife standpoint.

Our oldest knows pieces amnd accepts it and understands to the best that he can.

The good thing out of all of this is we're staying friends and both want what's best for the kids.

Ari2 · 04-27-2008, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by budnkota

If it's overflowing the yard and really bad, she may have a complusion disorder. I'd see about seeking treatment before doing anything else.

I was wondering the same thing as it sounds like compulsive hoarding.

But the two of you made a decision, which seems like the move you needed. I hope it works out for both of you and your kids.

ntbuddy · 04-27-2008, 07:01 PM

Her Mom and Dad always called it being a pack rat but I guess it could be called that as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari2

I was wondering the same thing as it sounds like compulsive hoarding.

But the two of you made a decision, which seems like the move you needed. I hope it works out for both of you and your kids.

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