meow_173

Our personal identities shape who we are and how we see ourselves. Many of us take knowing our personal, cultural and family history for granted and have common experiences that we share with other people. This gives us confidence about who we are, where we belong and the values that are important in our lives.

A child’s identify is an important part of their understanding of the world around them. They often start asking questions about their identity from an early age and everything that they are told forms the basis of how they see and understand themselves.

How do you help your child(ren) know who they are, where they came from, who their anncestors were etc etc.

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musicmom

Do you really thing it's all that important? I tell my kids were their grandparents came from but I don't see the importance in cluttering their minds with useless information.
Put it all down in a book and if they want to know you'll have it to pull out for them to read I guess.
A child is going to find themselves. They learn from you mostly, then from their peers. I take mine to church and I hope that sits in their minds.
I think by the time they are five they are pretty much who they are going to be personality wise.
I have one crazy child, one who is a brain and another who is passive.
I teach mine about the world as opportunity comes along. We do missionary work so they can feel the goodness themselves but I would never force them. They are interested in the less fortunate and I encourage them to do their part. I have given them good morals and values and can only hope they use what I have taught them and what the church has taught them.
I am their role model so I have to make sure I conduct myself in the manner that I want them to be like. It's a full time never ending job.

HappyMomma

When she asks, I try to make our 'family forest' as uncomplicated as possible.

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The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

Ari2

I've wondered about this a bit.

When my father was young, he and his entire family were put into US concentration camps for Japanese-Americans during WWII. They, along with the rest of their local Japanese-American community, were permitted only 2 suitcases per person, so they stored all their belongs in a local church. The day they were forced to report to the camp, a group of people burned the church to the ground. Sometime later, their pet Chow dog, who was being cared for by a local white teacher, was killed.

They were incarcerated for more than 2 years. My grandfather lost his business. Their housing was tar-paper barracks in the middle of the desert. surrounded by barbed wire fences and towers with armed guards. When they left the camps, they had nothing. This undoubtedly contributed to my grandfather becoming a tremendous alcoholic and physically abusive to his wife.

[Before anyone says something that will force me to hit them on the head, the US government has acknowledged that the forced internment of anyone with 1/16th Japanese heritage was based on racism and hysteria, not on military or national security necessity.]

I want my kids to know this history as part of their family history. Learning about it as a child gave me great empathy for disempowered people and even started me on a career path. It forced me to think more critically of the uses and abuses of power, even here in the US, where we like to boast (with overall good cause) about tremendous freedom. It also made me aware of the potential tyranny of the majority, which needs to be kept in balance in a democracy. I think these are good things to pass along to one's kids.

Just not when their are 19 months.

HappyMomma

Wow, Ari... that is an amazing story.

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The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

he.loves.her

That really is an amazing story...
This thread makes me think a lot. Pretty soon Lyric will realize that most of her playmates have two parents. And she'll wonder about her mother. Talking about this is hard on me. But I've come to understand that I need to know how to tell my daughter that her mother took her own life... because someday she's going to want to know. What is it I should do though? Tell her the truth when she asks? Or leave out the majority and just tell her what her mom was like... and that she's no longer with us? I haven't thought about this, really, until today.

Music-dad

Looks like were sort of in the same boat, except in my case, her life was taken. I totally feel for ya, who knows maybe we can help each other out here and there. I have struggled with what to tell her and what not to tell her, she asked a few questions on Mother's Day that I felt I fielded fairly well...only once did I need to excuse myself (said I had to go potty), and went into the bathroom to collect myself and compose my answer. I have not told her any death details yet, I am currently focusing on what a great woman she was, how much she loved her, and telling wonderful and funny stories of the life we had for 11+ years before she was born.

How old is Lyric?



As for legacy, I'm going with the book route, my Dad published a book about my Nanny, and I am so happy he did...facinating story.

he.loves.her

That's devestating. I wish I could still believe life was like a frolick in the evening through a poppy field... or a picnic undisturbed my ants. But instead I have to grow up, get over myself and be an adult. Good job with handeling the situation. I hope I can do as well when Lyr starts asking. For now though, I've got a while to think on it. Lyr's only 20 months. I figure I've got a few years. But it's just kind of a struggle. Talking to Lyr about it is going to open a lot of wounds that by that time, I probably won't want opened.

Music-dad

You've go quite a bit of time before it becomes an issue, mine is 4.5, and Mother's Day was the first time she really started with the questions. Oddly enough I hadn't even thought about preparing myself fully until the Wed. before when her JK teacher informed me of what had happened during Mothers Day craft time, when Kayleigh brought up that her Mommy is in heaven, the teacher handled it beautifully and told her that in her case she makes a craft for her Mommy's Mom, and that the "thought" will make it to your Mommy,... K actually got really excited by that. At that point I knew I'd better prepare myself for the worst, but it really wasn't all that bad, but I have a feeling it's not over yet.

You'll do fine too.

Kaytee

Well I agree that it helps form the child and who they will be.
I can't imagine how it was for Ari's grandparents, and hope to never have to. And I would my child to know about their history as well.

Nichole already knows she was names after her uncle Nick. She knows he is in heaven with God. We have never used the "death" word yet as she is only 2. But she knows he is gone and how amazing of a man he was. She is also told about her great grandparents that died when she was a baby, and of her greandma. (died when I was little). Death is not something to be scared of or afraid to tell your children about. Just age appropriate and its life. Unofortunately.
I also tell her casually already about how her great grandparents came here from Italy. We eat traditional Italian meals at family events and I want her to know how special that is.

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