Sirk

Let's say a woman wants a child but hasn't or doesn't want to meet the right guy and get married and time is running out.
Is it ok to go ahead and whatever steps she needs to get pregnant, assuming she can support the child on her own? Or tough cookies?
Is it better or worse than a woman getting knocked up out of wedlock accidentally? Or getting divorced?

__________________
Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.
- Mother Teresa

http://www.crowdgather.com

HappyMomma

I say it is her choice to make. If she is financially and emotionally ready to make that commitment... go for it.

__________________
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

Dadu2004

I would think that if she has a burning desire to have a child, then artificial insemination would be fine. If she is capable of raising a child in a loving home providing for the child in a good way, then I don't have a problem with it. Obviously a good male role model is a great thing, but single parenting isn't such a bad thing.

I wouldn't be a fan of her sleeping with someone to "accidentally" get pregnant however. I think that would provide problems in the future. A sperm bank is in existance with males knowing that their sperm will be used to create a child. Accidentally getting pregnant doesn't give that freedom...though there's obviously a risk of that happening.

__________________

fallon

I think any person...man or women, single or not, should be able to have a child if that's what they want

__________________
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

mom2many

I agree!!

__________________
Mom of pretty good kids.

Mindy

My opinion might sound a little judgemental, so please bear with me

I fully believe she has every right to pursue motherhood on her own, HOWEVER I must admit, that I feel like they are a bit selfish when they choose IVF or surrogacy, and create yet another life, when there are millions of perfect children in this world who have no one. No forever family. And that is what she wants. If she truly wants to parent, I believe she should parent one of these children. Honestly no offence intended to anyone, just my dead honest opinion.

__________________
"Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit.”

Dr. Erik Erikson

Mindy

See, the only problem I have with this, is no one considers the child's feelings. What if the child doesn't WANT an anonymous father? What if they NEED to know, and I know from experience and from having spoken with donor conceived children, that they sometimes feel a great deal of anger that their mothers wants and needs seemed to come before their own. And I'm fully aware "fathers" can dissapear and make themselves anyonymous but at least if she gets pregnant "accidentally", they do have a way of knowing WHO he is, instead of never having the RIGHT, IMAGINE, never having the right, to know who your OWN father is?

Another JMHO. And it's all rhetorical, you don't have to respond, and I'm not picking on you sarush, just you brought up a great point, I wanted to address

__________________
"Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit.”

Dr. Erik Erikson

fallon

donating sperm doesn't make a man a father...even when he has sex with the mother.

__________________
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Mindy

I completely agree with you Fallon. Not disputing that at all.

What I'm saying is that at least this way, a child know's where he comes from, even if it's only to get closure because bio dad is a loser But in cases of sperm donation, that child never has a right to know who their father is, and that is just completely unfair IMO.

__________________
"Someday, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well considered and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child’s spirit.”

Dr. Erik Erikson

Dadu2004

I don't feel picked on Mindy...

The difference is, with IVF the father has a choice. He can choose to make himself available to the child knowing full well what the circumstances were. He knows that he is donating sperm with the intention of getting a woman pregnant who wants to be preganant. He can leave his information in the case the child wants to contact him for whatever reason it may be.

With the "accidental" pregnancy, it's almost as if the father of the child is "tricked" into the situation. Before I get yelled at:...yes I know that the potential is there to get a woman pregnant if you have sex with her. However, in this presented situation, the woman is deliberately trying to get pregnant without informing the man. This situation would then provide a major surprise and almost force the child onto the man. I wouldn't find this to be a fair solution.

I'm for a woman having a child if she's choosing to be a single parent, as long as its done in an up-front manner.

__________________